Friday, December 18, 2009

No need to complain.

Recently I have noticed that my daughter complains all the time. And as usual when I notice something irritating in one of my children I ask the question "where does she get that from?" I mean I am constantly telling all of them how thankful we should be for all that we have. We do devotionals on being thankful and grateful all the time. From my "perspective" I think she has a great life. From my "perspective" I think she has nothing to complain about.

As far as I am concerned my children have so much to be thankful for... Perspective is a funny thing. OF COURSE as I was thinking about this the whisper of the Holy Spirit came rushing in. OF COURSE He showed me how like most bad habits my children have accumulated in their short lives they learned this from the one they are around the most. OF COURSE He started to remind me of all the things I complain about.

This time though it was a little different. It wasn't a reprimand about complaining it was more of a question. The question I felt him ask was "When others hear me complain what do they think?" From others perspective do I have anything to complain about? What about the woman who can't have children? What would she think of my complaining about mine? What about the person who has less than I do? Would I have any right to complain? What am I saying about God's provision when I complain?

Maybe I should spend more time praying and less complaining. Maybe I'm really hurting my witness when I am complaining! Maybe I should take my own advice and be MORE Thankful. Maybe I should take a moment to count my blessings before I complain. Maybe I should see my life from others PERSPECTIVE. Because GOD has been good to me. God has met all my needs through CHRIST JESUS.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Being available...

For years I have felt a burden to start a Storehouse ministry. Where people who want to get rid of stuff would donate their things (clothes, food, furniture...) to people who are in need. I never felt like the time was right, but this vision was always in the back of my mind. In the last year my family has had hard times just like everyone else. There have been times when things were pretty tight around here and although we have not been without we have had to sacrifice. It has really made me think about all the parents out there who must be so broken hearted when they look at their children and they don't have anything to give them.

There is a lot of suffering going on around me and I know that God has used this as well as our own struggles to propel me into action. Recently I have felt the burden that now is the time. I have so much going on with my family, but I think this is on of those things the Proverbs 31 woman would do. She takes care of the poor.

At first I was thinking really big. I was overwhelmed with all the what-ifs and not having the resources. I started praying "Ok, Lord, if this is what you want me to do then you have to make it happen. You have to provide." Little did I know that He had his own ideas. One day I said "Ok, what is your vision?" I mean I thought He was gonna come through with a building and really make this legit. But, it seems His answer was different for now anyway. I just started receiving all this stuff from people. Stuff that doesn't fit us. Stuff we can't use right now. And then COINCIDENTALLY people informed me of needs that they knew of?!?!? God began to show me that He would let me know WHEN there was a need and He would provide the things for that need, but I had to be available. I had to pay attention. I had to let the Lord lead me. BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM, not me.

He is AMAZING... I can't wait to see what God does next...

Monday, December 14, 2009

Christmas crafting...

Listening to Christmas music and doing crafts. I love this time of Year!!!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Just thinking...

I am so hardheaded. Why can't I just get it? I shake my head at myself, I can't imagine what the Lord does?! Let me start out by saying God is so faithful to me. I DO NOT deserve it, but yet He is...

He is trying to teach me to trust Him and Him alone. This is so hard for me. I always try to make things happen. As I was thinking of this tendency the Lord brought to my mind the children of Israel wondering around the desert. Everyday the Lord provided manna from heaven and everyday some would try to get too much or complain about God's provision. Their efforts to get to much always lead to nought when it would rot and be useless. I am like of them. God is providing for us "one day at a time". He has never once allowed us to beg as Psalm 37 talks about. Everyday there is just enough. BUT, everyday all I can think about is tomorrow and next week and two weeks from now. It's so funny because He was showing me how they would say everyday "Yeah, I know he provided today, but what if He doesn't come through in the morning!?" I feel like they must have felt... Out there in the wilderness with no food in sight just waiting on this invisible God to provide manna from heaven. I have never thought about this before. I used to say How could their faith be so small they saw all of God's miracles. Yet, I have seen plenty of God's miracles. Just like the children of Israel though I remember Egypt where there was plenty. Is Egypt better than this?! Lord, help me trust you! I don't want to doubt. Help my unbelief. Build my Faith. I'm thankful for the Word of God. There is so much comfort in knowing that no matter my situation there is someone in the Word of God who had to go through it before me and always God was Faithful. I don't want to fail this test.

Friday, December 11, 2009

How Great...

Sometimes a miracle is such a small thing that you couldn't share it with someone else because they wouldn't see the wonder in it that you do. Sometimes an answer to your prayers is just a whisper back as if to say "I hear you..." I had one of those moments today when I really needed to know that He hears me. I know the Lord is trying to help me learn how to have a much more personal Faith in Him... I'm in a period in my life where I have learned that I can trust Him, but that I can not always be trusted. I think of the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac, and how really the test was could God trust Abraham. He saw that He could.

So, today I whispered a little prayer and tried with all my might not to try my old tricks of making things happen. Then it happened a phone call with a very ordinary invitation, but to me a whispered response to my heart. Yes, God hears my prayers. Yes, He cares about the small things too. Yes, He sees me trying and He provides. Because He is Jehovah Jirah "The Lord will provide". How Great is our God that He cares for each one of us and our situations.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Today I was getting on to my son for something I had gotten on to him for about a hundred times already. I had this thought as I often do and I know probably every parent does "When is he gonna get this?" I've discovered that parenting is the hardest thing I have every done. Especially if your goal is "training them in the way they should go". I say especially because I am still being trained in the way I should go and I have no wisdom of my own. I have seen so many parents who have given up along the way and I really don't want to be one of those. But, I do understand. It is so hard to be diligent and to continue when you feel defeated. It is so hard when you feel like no one is listening or receiving the instructions. It's hard when you are trying to do your best and you feel resented and misunderstood by the people you love so much...

While all of these thoughts were playing in my head the soft voice of the Holy Spirit said "yes, I know how you feel!" Then he brought one of my favorite verses to mind. "Being confident of this very thing, that He which has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. " I am a work in progress and it has been a long time that God has been at this work in me. I have been stubborn and rebellious, BUT God has been faithful, kind, and patient to me along the way. He has been there to bring me back when I have turned my back on him. He has loved me enough to not give up on me when I made it seem impossible that I would ever get it. HE has done that for all of HIS children and we owe it to ours to be faithful and kind and understanding and patient. We should be willing to work hard when we are tired and discouraged, because Jesus Christ had done the same for us. We can not give up or be discouraged this is a War for their souls and just as God fights for us everyday we must fight for them. When I think of how much patience my heavenly Father has had with me it motivates me to continue. He is showing me the way by the way he has treated me...

Thursday, December 3, 2009

being real

I usually try to stay positive when writing on here or facebook. I just want to point to God and His faithfulness, but today I'm gonna share a weakness.

I think we have 3 pretty good kids, BUT they are certainly not perfect! Not that anybody is. I just want them to love Jesus and follow him with their whole hearts. I have known since before they were born that I was inadequate for this job, but God would lead us along the way. My weakness is thinking that wisdom to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord in just given. I read my bible on a regular basis. I try to lead them in righteousness. We're home-schooling for many reason, but mainly to keep them from the bad influence and lies of this world. BUT, with all of that said... they are humans with strong wills and sin natures. I need more than all the 12 step programs or time out or spanking... I need wisdom. I have to spend time in prayer for all my children and pray for direction for each one of them individually. I have to "train them in the way they should go" with much prayer... I can not be lazy about this area of my life.

Today I was feeling so defeated. Every time I turned around my oldest a girl was being sassy and I had "tried" everything to let her know that this wasn't going to be tolerated. I had to discipline her because she just kept talking back. Afterwards as I was holding her in my arms I began to pray quietly because I didn't know what to do at this point. I felt like I had talked her out... As I was praying I told the Lord that I just wanted to raise them for His glory and I just didn't seem to have a clue how to do that. I was praying for wisdom for her and asking for her heart to be devoted to him. I was begging him not to allow myself or my husband to ruin these children that He had placed in our care... "What do I need to do?" I cried. As always my faithful loving Father answered my sincere plea. He showed me how very little time she has had exclusively with us since her brothers have been born. How she needs that time with mom and dad. How she is crying out for attention and we had better answer that cry before it is too late. I made plans immediately for the boys to go to gma's by themselves and we're taking her to have some alone time tonight. I'm sooooooooo thankful that when I desperately need an answer my Father will always give me the right one. I need to be more diligent to pray for his light to guide me daily while I'm on this journey. I just love my God for being so faithful to allow me to get uncomfortable so that I will begin to seek Him. God is so Good.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Happy at Home

It's 5:50pm and I have just finished mopping my kitchen floor. Dinner is in the oven as we speak. My children are playing together having a grand time. We have had an hour of exercise, walking around our neighborhood pond with another HS family (you know socializing). School went great today. My daughter is reading above her grade level. She is responding well to having Mom as teacher. I am blessed to be at home with all my children around me daily. I am blessed to pass on my faith to my children on a moment by moment basis. Just as scripture tells us to "tell our kids when we rise, when we walk by the way, and when we lay down to sleep." Truly I am happy at home, in a way that the world tells me I can not possibly be. God is Good and we are blessed.

I had to take a break from the post for a minute. It's 6:30 and they had a bath because the grandparents are coming for dinner on a school night!!! My house is fairly clean. Yes I have 3 children 5 and under. I would love to take credit for lots of wonderful things that are happening in our home and family, but I can't it is all God. His word teaching us, his Spirit leading us into a wonderful way of life. Home-school has been such a blessing in sooooo many ways and I am thankful to have this opportunity. It amazes me when I talk to others about how hectic their lives are and how little time they have away from school and home work. I am blessed every time I talk to a mom that has to work and how "unfulfilled" they seem to be. I am glad that God never allowed us to get into a situation where we had to figure out how to make it work for me to stay home. Alas, I am happy at home.