Just thinking...

I am so hardheaded. Why can't I just get it? I shake my head at myself, I can't imagine what the Lord does?! Let me start out by saying God is so faithful to me. I DO NOT deserve it, but yet He is...

He is trying to teach me to trust Him and Him alone. This is so hard for me. I always try to make things happen. As I was thinking of this tendency the Lord brought to my mind the children of Israel wondering around the desert. Everyday the Lord provided manna from heaven and everyday some would try to get too much or complain about God's provision. Their efforts to get to much always lead to nought when it would rot and be useless. I am like of them. God is providing for us "one day at a time". He has never once allowed us to beg as Psalm 37 talks about. Everyday there is just enough. BUT, everyday all I can think about is tomorrow and next week and two weeks from now. It's so funny because He was showing me how they would say everyday "Yeah, I know he provided today, but what if He doesn't come through in the morning!?" I feel like they must have felt... Out there in the wilderness with no food in sight just waiting on this invisible God to provide manna from heaven. I have never thought about this before. I used to say How could their faith be so small they saw all of God's miracles. Yet, I have seen plenty of God's miracles. Just like the children of Israel though I remember Egypt where there was plenty. Is Egypt better than this?! Lord, help me trust you! I don't want to doubt. Help my unbelief. Build my Faith. I'm thankful for the Word of God. There is so much comfort in knowing that no matter my situation there is someone in the Word of God who had to go through it before me and always God was Faithful. I don't want to fail this test.