Wednesday, June 30, 2010

What works for me...

Like every other Mom I know I have read a lot of books trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do... You know the ones. They tell you don't rock your baby, don't nurse them down or do anything that you will have to break later. The books that say just lay them down when they are sleepy, but not asleep then they will learn how to soothe themselves to sleep. I don't know about every other Mom in the world, but after 4 babies and ABSOLUTELY no luck with that approach I have given up. All that approach has ever done for me is make bedtime a nightmare and after hearing them cry their eyes out and work themselves into a fit I pick them up and soothe them to sleep myself. I wouldn't even worry about it except you get advice from your Pediatrician to your mother to random people on the street. They make you think you will forever ruin your child if you don't do everything the way the book says...

Then God forbid if you let the baby sleep with you... I don't know if this started out of desperation to get some sleep or laziness or just because deep down I really love having the baby sleeping beside me, but it started and it has worked for us. We have been very blessed that each of our children have moved without much effort to their beds around 18mos. BUT, this is something you really have to be careful about sharing with people because they go crazy about this!!! Not that I care I'm pretty outspoken, but I feel sorry for other people who have to defend themselves.

Oh, and I LOVE the books that say that your baby will probably love some time alone swinging or just sitting by the window. I have not had one child yet that loved time by themselves until they were bigger... This time I didn't even get the baby swing and bouncer out. Why?!?!? Because I would be tempted to use it and then get frustrated with my baby because he wouldn't stay in it for more than 5 minutes. Now I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if all my children have been high need or if really babies were made to just want to be with their mommy, but that stuff hasn't worked for me...

The pacifier??? I have tried that one every time... I would love for my baby to use a pass so I didn't have to be the pacifier... BUT, again failure. They have learned the difference pretty quick...

So, what works for me and has worked with each one of my babies is having almost constant physical contact with my baby. THANKFULLY I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom so this works for me. I don't really have to be anywhere except here taking care of my children and that's how I like it. What has worked for me is soothing my baby to sleep myself. Sometimes rocking, singing, but always nursing!!! What has worked is having the baby sleep right beside me and we sleep really well. No trying to get him back to sleep at night because he never fully wakes up and I don't either!!! What works for me and has been the best investment I have ever made is a Ring Sling. I can have him close to me all the time which is what He wants and I can have my hands free to get housework done or schoolwork with the kids... It's just like having him in my belly now it's just on my belly. What works for me is not trying to force the pacifier on him, but responding to his needs even if that means it's not time to eat yet. Right or wrong this has been what works for me. Every time I start out trying to do it by the book, but my babies have had other plans. So, now I just wish I didn't have to feel guilty because other people think I'm doing it all wrong... I'm sure next time I will try it all again, but this is what has worked for me!!!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Like HIM...

Do you ever think about how the here and now is preparing you for the future? Or are you like me and just muddle through complaining about the inconveniences of life?

Do you ever realize when God is giving you a perfect opportunity to practice what you preach in front of your children??

Recently I had a chance to "show" my daughter what I've been telling her for a long time. I try to teach her about how we should treat people. How we should love them unconditionally and how we should care about them in real ways like Jesus would. We are the hands and the feet of Christ. The problem is that I am not very good at this myself especially if it inconviences me or makes me uncomfortable. BUT, God is showing me you can never teach anything you do not do yourself.

I confess that I need to practice compassion and understanding alot more than I do. I confess that I need to practice patience and kindness alot more than I do. I read a post from someone the other day that reminded me that we have been given all the gifts of the Holy Spirit when we received Christ so now we just have to use them. I confess that I need to die to myself because I don't want to be bothered by other peoples issues. I know that sounds terrible and I almost don't want to admit that for fear that of what some might think, but it's true I really don't want to be bothered. It is in realizing this that I find great comfort in the FACT that my Savior is nothing like me. He makes it plain that He wants us to bring ALL of our cares to Him. It is in seeing this that I realize how wonderful my Savior is and that He is asking me to be like him and love people the way He does.

Anyway, the other day someone needed some love from me, but I was busy and I didn't want to be bothered. As I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes knowing that this person was upset and needed comfort the Lord spoke to my heart "This is a chance to be like me. This is the time to show your daughter how I love people." My heart was convicted, but I still didn't move to do anything. Then you know how God is when He wants to get a point across... Here comes my daughter and she said "Mom, I need to tell you something. " Then she whispered in my ear that this person was upset and crying... Then she just stood there looking at me waiting to see what I was gonna do. Now before you think I'm totally heartless this was at 5:15pm and we had people coming for dinner at 5:30. With 3 kids and a new baby you can imagine what my house looked like. I had just got the call at 4:45 that we were having company over. So, I had to make a decision would I worry about the temporal things or the eternal things? Here is my beautiful kind hearted daughter waiting to see me put my words into practice. When Jesus said we should be like children He was so right. Their hearts are so much softer than ours. Well, as you can plainly see God got his point across. So, I went and hopefully was a comfort to someone in need.

It wasn't until later that God began to show me that He is using every opportunity to prepare me for the future. Recently my husband was ordained into the ministry. He has been a Youth Pastor for many years and we know that God has used all of those years to prepare us for something in the future. This is not a brag by any means, but there have been many people that tell him one day they know God is going to make Him a pastor. He has a heart for people and He can share the word in such a wonderful way. I truly believe He is anointed and that God will use Him mightily. BUT, what would that make me one day??? Unless the Lord takes me home and gives him a more worthy replacement?! That is a joke!!! So, now is my time to prepare and learn and take every chance to be like Jesus. We should no matter our vocation do what we are called to do and that is Love one another!!! In real ways that go beyond ourselves. May God continue to grow me and make me more like His Son Jesus.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Will this spoil him???

I'm sitting on the couch with the baby in my lap. It has never ceased to amaze me how wonderfully he sleeps when I am holding him. He is so peaceful, so beautiful. I know the time will go by so quickly and he will be grown before I know it. So, I hold him in my arms instead of putting him in the bed. While I look around at a house that looks like a tornado came through it. I know there is so much to do... dishes, laundry, etc. And, there is that voice telling me "You're gonna spoil him". The same one that tells me each night not to hold him so close to me in bed. I should put him back in his bed. BUT, I LIKE to hold him, and I LIKE to sleep beside him. I LOVE watching him as he sleeps in my arm. AND, I know how quickly this time will pass.

I know there are things that need to be done, but as I look around this world I see far too many kids that aren't held enough and no one has time for them. The dishes will be there later, the laundry will still be there later. But, I want my kids to know that they were loved. That mommy was in love with each one of them. I'm sorry but I can't let him cry himself to sleep so if he wants to sleep next to me so be it. Pretty soon I won't be able to pay him for a kiss because he'll be too old for that. So, I'm just gonna enjoy each one of them where they are right now. If I am accused of bad parenting let it be because I gave them to much attention!!!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Update...

No, I'm not dead... Although sometimes I feel like the walking dead!!! HAHA !!!

Well, we are doing really good. The baby came right on time. He is beautiful. Everybody has adjusted very well to having a new baby in the house which always makes mom feel good. My two year old love his new little brother and thinks that he should be able to hold him all day and kiss him!!! We have had the occasional discipline problem, but that's to be expected.

We are off for the summer, but I think we will still do school a few days a week so that we don't forget anything!!! I love Home-school. There is so much freedom!!!

I am anxious to get into some kind of routine again, but that will come I guess. I'm just a creature of habit so I find comfort in doing the same things at the same time everyday. Not to mention being able to get out and grocery shop for myself. But, I also need to sit back and enjoy these weeks at home because I will never have them again with this little guy. Time goes by so quickly...

For whoever said that too many kids plays havoc on a marriage, I would like to say they are wrong. By God's grace we are closer than we have ever been. He has been so helpful and attentive after this our fourth child has come. I am so thankful for my husband!!!

Well, that's all I have time for for now... I hope to be back soon!!!