"Five Habits Every Mom Should Break" was the name of an article I read recently written by a well meaning Mom I'm sure. It had some pretty good tips, but the very last one really frustrated me. #5 Stop Putting Yourself Last... I don't know if this article was written by a christian so I will give her a break, but the problem I have is that I hear statements like that ALL THE TIME from everywhere, and most of the time I hear it coming from me... It sounds so good... They always start out with the ego rub...
"You work so hard doing so much for everyone else."
"If you focus on you and put yourself first you will have more to give to your family."
"You need ME TIME."
The problem you ask??? Isn't it true? Won't we be happier, better, more loving Mothers IF we spend time on ourselves and take a break? Isn't this idea of ME TIME a good one?
Well, I guess it might be for you... BUT, I have found that ME TIME can become a monster!!! It takes 5 minutes to change me from a Devoted mom and wife, to a DIVA. You know what Diva's do... Everyone has to serve them. They want things their way. The world revolves around the Diva. She becomes the most important person. Who said one person in the family should be most important?
Me time starts so innocently, but sooner than later Me time becomes a commanding force demanding that you have Me time more and more. Like a drug that changes your personality and demands that you seek more and more for a high. Anyone who gets in the way of Me time becomes the enemy. Husbands and children become burdens to bear instead of the blessings they were intended to be. Pretty soon you would do ANYTHING to get away from them for a while.
I know what you're thinking right about now. You think I am saying you should never ever do anything for yourself. You're thinking I think we should Cinderella's never going to the ball. I'm not. I'm saying seeking Me time for the sake of Me is so very dangerous. I'm saying that you can go to the gym if you want (to be healthy). I'm saying you can read a good book if you want to. I'm saying you can go shopping with the girls to be with them. I'm saying go on a date with the hubs. I'm saying if Grandma calls and wants to pick up the kids and let you have a break DO IT!!! Just Don't get in the mind set THAT YOU MUST HAVE ME TIME!!! Don't PUT YOURSELF FIRST!!! It's a dangerous game. If EVERYONE is putting themselves first what is the eventual consequence... No one is looking out for the well-being of the family!!! And Ladies that IS our calling.
Our Example is Christ and what did He do? He laid down His life and He said "He that finds his life shall lose it: and he that looses his life shall find it." He said Die to yourself. He said love others more than yourself and LOVE is ONLY an action. Love puts others before themselves. That is why this idea is so dangerous because it opposite from what the Bible demands. Ours IS A LIFE of SERVICE!!! We are made in the image of God... givers of life in every way. We are a picture of the Holy Spirit in our home and His very definition is Helper and Comforter ever present and available to us.
I loved this morning as I was reading Genesis 18 the story of the 3 angels visiting Abraham. One of the visitors was Christ Himself and when He showed up Abraham begged him to stay and be refreshed at their tent... Then Abraham runs in the tent to find Sarah and tells her to prepare a meal for the UNEXPECTED visitors... He said "Make ready QUICKLY three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth." then Abraham goes out and prepared the meat.
Since this whole idea of ME TIME was on my mind it struck that I'm so glad Sarah wasn't out getting her nails done when Jesus came along. I'm glad she wasn't out putting herself first because she would have missed out on a HUGE blessing. THE LORD came to visit her and she was there in her tent ready and willing to throw together a meal. She was there HELPING Abraham which I am SURE he was so very glad and thankful for his wife at that moment. Sarah was hidden away in her tent, but she was precisely where Jesus wanted her to be. Then she got the greatest news of all she was going to bear a son. What a blessing, better than any ME TIME!!!
So, Lord PLEASE help me become the Devoted wife and mother you want me to be and STOP striving to be a DIVA. YOU know what is best and you have your reasons I know. Help me lay my life down and take up my cross. Help me live as a living sacrifice for you!!!
Amen! Thanks for always making me think.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have some quiet time to ourselves every now and then. But I think we set our selves up for disappointment when we try so hard to seek it out for ourselves. Frustrated when we can't get it, short fused with those who won't leave us alone so we can have it. And it might end up being something superficial and meaningless anyway. (Which of course, like you said, is fine [and fun!] every now and then! :-))
But God knows our needs. He will provide for us times of rest and refreshment at just the right time that will go much deeper than some of those other kinds of "me times" that we think we need.
Thank you so much Sharity for getting what I'm trying to say... Yeah I love times of R & R and date nights and stuff are just that. Sometimes Granny picks up the kids to spend time with them and that is so wonderful, but I'm not FORCING the issue. God does know and He is faithful. If we could keep that in mind that would be awesome. I think we really have to be diligent to filter the messages we hear around us with the word of God to see what HE says!!!
DeleteWow! I couldn't agree more with all of the above, Sharity's reply and Angela's original. It always seems that my day begins to come apart at the seams when I wake with the idea that I deserve a break and whoever is dependent on me that day just needs to fend for themselves. How pitiful is that? The Lord surely looks down on me in pity while wishing that I wouldn't reject His blessings that I'm calling my burdens for that day. I'm all about loving the girl time or the really long shower or the attempt to read when I actually fall asleep for 10 minutes but when that 'me time' is self manipulated, it's NEVER fulfilling. Funny how that works. Just like Sharity said, my Father knows what I NEED and WHEN I NEED it. So, a novel idea would be to let HIM control the 'me time' in my life. It'll be so much more refreshing that way without the huge dose of guilt that would normally come with it when His hand didn't direct it. Anyway, bravo Angela for another great blog of truth. A lot of 'ouches' but none the less.....ALL TRUTH!!!
ReplyDeleteGayla Westbrook