Wednesday, June 30, 2010

What works for me...

Like every other Mom I know I have read a lot of books trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do... You know the ones. They tell you don't rock your baby, don't nurse them down or do anything that you will have to break later. The books that say just lay them down when they are sleepy, but not asleep then they will learn how to soothe themselves to sleep. I don't know about every other Mom in the world, but after 4 babies and ABSOLUTELY no luck with that approach I have given up. All that approach has ever done for me is make bedtime a nightmare and after hearing them cry their eyes out and work themselves into a fit I pick them up and soothe them to sleep myself. I wouldn't even worry about it except you get advice from your Pediatrician to your mother to random people on the street. They make you think you will forever ruin your child if you don't do everything the way the book says...

Then God forbid if you let the baby sleep with you... I don't know if this started out of desperation to get some sleep or laziness or just because deep down I really love having the baby sleeping beside me, but it started and it has worked for us. We have been very blessed that each of our children have moved without much effort to their beds around 18mos. BUT, this is something you really have to be careful about sharing with people because they go crazy about this!!! Not that I care I'm pretty outspoken, but I feel sorry for other people who have to defend themselves.

Oh, and I LOVE the books that say that your baby will probably love some time alone swinging or just sitting by the window. I have not had one child yet that loved time by themselves until they were bigger... This time I didn't even get the baby swing and bouncer out. Why?!?!? Because I would be tempted to use it and then get frustrated with my baby because he wouldn't stay in it for more than 5 minutes. Now I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if all my children have been high need or if really babies were made to just want to be with their mommy, but that stuff hasn't worked for me...

The pacifier??? I have tried that one every time... I would love for my baby to use a pass so I didn't have to be the pacifier... BUT, again failure. They have learned the difference pretty quick...

So, what works for me and has worked with each one of my babies is having almost constant physical contact with my baby. THANKFULLY I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom so this works for me. I don't really have to be anywhere except here taking care of my children and that's how I like it. What has worked for me is soothing my baby to sleep myself. Sometimes rocking, singing, but always nursing!!! What has worked is having the baby sleep right beside me and we sleep really well. No trying to get him back to sleep at night because he never fully wakes up and I don't either!!! What works for me and has been the best investment I have ever made is a Ring Sling. I can have him close to me all the time which is what He wants and I can have my hands free to get housework done or schoolwork with the kids... It's just like having him in my belly now it's just on my belly. What works for me is not trying to force the pacifier on him, but responding to his needs even if that means it's not time to eat yet. Right or wrong this has been what works for me. Every time I start out trying to do it by the book, but my babies have had other plans. So, now I just wish I didn't have to feel guilty because other people think I'm doing it all wrong... I'm sure next time I will try it all again, but this is what has worked for me!!!

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