What I See

This is his first season.  He's 8, and most of the kids on his team have been playing for a while.  That's enough to make you feel insecure, but that's not really the problem. I watch him hold back and second guess every move.  I watch him let other people take the lead, because he's not sure of himself.  I can see his potential.  He's fast, real fast, and he will one day be a really good soccer player or anything else he wants to be, but for now he's holding back.  I know what he is capable of and I know why he's so scared.  

He's a younger brother of two pretty amazing athletes (and I can say that because I have no athletic skill at all).  I also know this because other people say it all the time.  We hear it from Coaches and from other parents.  It comes so naturally to them.  They make it look so easy and since the day that he figured this out he has been comparing himself to them.  

It's not easy for him.  He has to work harder and he has to try harder.  He had to practice and drop a 100 balls before he could catch one, but he works at it with a determination that makes me ashamed of how easy I give up.  Nothing has ever been easy for him and he's an overcomer.  

The voice in his head tells him he will never measure up.  The voice in his head says he isn't as good as his football star brother or as good as his brother that always scores goals.  His voice constantly tells him, he doesn't have what it takes...  so I have had to be that other voice in his head.  

I want to be that voice that says, "Let me tell you what I see."  I see that you work hard and never give up.  I see that your brothers have been a valuable asset in your life, they have made you better.  I see that you are fast, I see that you have a great kick, I see that when you were in the game the ball stayed at the other end of the field.  I see that you are holding back and that you have so much more to give.  I see that you are scared, but you don't have any reason to be...  You are better than you think you are.  

I also say "I heard your Coach say repeatedly, "Let Andrew kick the ball."  I saw him tell you a few times that he didn't want you throwing in, he wanted the ball thrown to you, because he believes in you.  Your dad and I see so much in you that you are holding back and only you can release it".  

I also say "You have to believe what I say and stop listening to the voice in your head.  You can do this, but you have to push through the fear.  You will never know what you are capable of, if you keep listening to the lie that you aren't good enough".

One of the hardest things a parent can watch is a child paralyzed and held back by fear, doubt and insecurity.  Sitting on the side lines waiting with baited breath for them to realize just what they are capable of, is excruciating.  

 

But, I am Andrew.  I am scared.  I am in the game, but I'm holding back.  I kind of know there's more in there, but I'm still idling.  I'm still listening to that voice in my head that says, "Who do you think you are?"  

I'm looking around and thinking they've been playing longer than me, I will just let them do it.  They are better at this whole thing than I am, so Coach it's ok to take me out of the game.  I'm ok on the sidelines.  I'm just gonna run around the field and look busy, but there are those moments when I get my eye on that ball and no one is gonna take it away from me.  There are those moments when I kick that ball so hard I surprise myself.  There are times when I look over on the sidelines and it's looks like my mom's face is going to split in half from pride.  There are those times when somewhere inside I know there is greatness that the world has yet to see...  

After the game is over I remind that kid again of what I see...  I see greatness and I'm going to tell him every day until he believes it too.  I'm going to be that voice of truth that pushes him past the fear and to reach his full potential.  

I'm thankful for the people in my life that do that for me.  I'm thankful for the people that say "Let me tell you what I see."  I'm thankful for people who remind me not to compare myself to other people, who tell me to run my fastest, play my hardest, give my all and forget about those older brothers.

I'm thankful for the sweetest voice of all... the One who said, "I chose you... you are mine."  His love is beyond my understanding.  He knows everything about me.  He knows my fears, insecurities and doubts and I know it pains Him to know that I listen to the voice in my head instead of His.  I know that He watches me hold back, out of fear and I know He waits patiently for me to finally start believing that "In Christ I can do all things."  

I can see in my 8 year old that fear is a liar.  Fear is paralyzing.  Fear is scary and big and loud, but everything fear says is a lie.  It's easy to see that in him.  It's easy to see fear telling him that he's not good enough and it's just as easy for me to see how good he can be.  

How do we shut up the fear?  The Word...  Just as Jesus refuted the enemy in the wilderness with the Word, we must believe the Word of Truth.

"There is no fear in love; INSTEAD, perfect LOVE drives out fear..."  I John 4:18

The love of our perfect Father in heaven, through the love displayed for us by Christ Jesus on the cross is that perfect love that casts out our fear.  

This morning when I was reminding my son of this truth, I asked him how he could know that he was valuable...  he said because Jesus would never have given his life for trash.  OH, SON you are so much farther along than me already.  

Friend, are you holding back?  Are you paralyzed by fear?  Are you letting the voice in your head convince you that you are not enough?  Fear is a liar...  If Jesus has put you on the field play your heart out...  the world is waiting for YOU!