Game of Thrones

An epic battle rages in the early morning hours and extends well after the sun has gone down...  Who will win the bid for the throne, who will lead this tiny kingdom, who is really in control?  I like to think that I am the one, who is running this show, but my 10yr old middle son gives me a run for my money ALL. DAY. EVERYDAY.  As if we were two ancient armies, facing off on either side of a wide valley, we wage war all day, lay down in camp at night, and start up again in the morning.  The clashing of two titans, with iron wills, ever ready to defend our ground.

Our most recent battle started innocently enough, cruising down the highway last night, jamming to a good song on the radio, when out of nowhere the station changed (side note: who in the name of goodness thought it would be a great idea to put radio controls in the backseat, I hate you.).  I don't know when it happened that a mini human started thinking that he could just control the car radio, but my mini-me thinks by divine right he can change the station anytime he wants to.  NOT COOL.

Our biggest battles happen during school hours each day.  To graduate at 5th grade or not to, is the question.  No, son...  you can not quit in 5th grade and still go to college.  No, son you have not reached the zenith of your education.  You must press on with the thing we call school.   "Sit down and do your work" is my constant battle cry.  No you can't watch TV, play football, and eat all day, you must do school.  ALL. DAY. EVERYDAY.

Speaking of TV, that's a whopper.  Oh, 3 games of NFL Sunday were not enough for you?  Oh, I'm sorry, yes let me see if I can muster up some sympathy for your pour mistreated soul.

There is no area that is off limits for the two of us.  We fight about breakfast, junk food, music, TV, school, we fight about swimming in December, we fight about everything, and I guess if I was a better monarch, then we wouldn't fight at all, but people I'm tired.

To be honest, we are too much alike.  Out of all my children, he is the one who is most like me.  We love everything that we shouldn't, the only difference is that I understand a thing or two about consequences...  Like if you eat too many brownies you will get sick.  If you quit school in 5th grade you won't get a good job, and then you will be living with me for the rest of your life (and I can't handle that), so you are getting an education.  I know stuff he doesn't know...   so, like it or not young son you will submit to my will.

Another epic battle rages in another dimension every day as well...  My will or Thine.  My kingdom vs. His Kingdom.  He being King Jesus, the rightful heir to the throne, the one who paid the price to ascend and be seated.  Daily I pray "Your Kingdom come" and then fight frantically to recover the throne.  The battle rages for control, leaving me with self-inflicted wounds, as our wills collide.

There is no contest...  He is the undisputed King.  I know it's a losing battle, but I fight anyway.  When He says, "Love your enemies", I balk and say, "I can't".   When He says, "Value others above yourself", I say, "Impossible."  When He says, "You must die to yourself and pick up your cross.",  I say, "It's too heavy, that's too much."  When He says, "Be still (stop fighting) and know (that I am God)", I say, "I can't let go."

The power struggle rages on.  I want to be Queen of my own life.  I want to be captain of my own destiny.  I struggle to surrender control of my life, because what if I don't like what Jesus does with it.  But, whether or not I accept it in the moment, Jesus is King.  He will have His way.  There is really no power struggle, it's all in my head.  He will have His way in my life and unlike the war between my child and I, there is no doubt who is in control.

He is King.  His will for me is better than my will for me.  Just like my child, my will is usually selfish.  I have to constantly fight the battle of being completely self-centered... as if I were the Sun with all the planets rotating around me.  I, like most earthly kings, believe that everything and everyone is here to make me happy.

As a parent, I have one main goal in life, it's NOT my kids happiness, because I recognize that what makes them happy, usually is NOT good for them.   My main goal as a parent is to prepare and equip my children to grow up and be mature, responsible adults, people that are prepared for their future and that requires a lot of time fighting for what is best for them.

As King, Jesus, has ONE goal for His people...  to prepare us for the future of being with Him.  My happiness is NOT His priority.   His ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts.  His ways are higher than ours.  It's up to me to surrender to His will for my life, recognizing that He knows more than I do and His ways are better.  It's up to me to bow my knee to the real King and say with my whole being, "Not my will, but Thine."

It's up to me to trust God to know what is best for me.  It's up to me to lay my weapons down, raise my white flag and let Him lead.  I know what ever He does is good.  He has proven that to me at the Cross.  There is nothing He would not do for my good.  He gave everything up for me...  now it's my turn to give it all up to follow Him.  He is the Worthy King.