Common Ground

I knew I was on to something new and scary and amazingly freeing the day my friend Katie, walked into my house unexpectedly and I didn't kill over and die.  Katie was my neighbor and our friendship had just begun to blossom, but our relationship mostly consisted of sitting out in the her front yard, watching our kids play in the street.  I was just in the beginning stages of understanding that I did not have to be perfect, but on this day I was pushed to a new place I didn't know I needed desperately to go.

That day Katie waltzed through the front door and called out my name, walking through the dining room on her way to the kitchen, she looked into my laundry room and said, "Wow, am I glad I saw that."  It looked like a clothes volcano had erupted.  She hadn't even made it into the kitchen yet, so I knew she was about to be relieved of any idea that I was the perfect mom and wife, but I realized that day how much I needed her to know that.  I needed her to take me down off the pedestal of perfection I could never actually maintain.

I was starting to understand a little of what Paul was saying in 2 Corinthians 12:9

"He said to me, 'My GRACE is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in WEAKNESS.' Therefore, I will GLADLY BOAST all the more in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me."

For years I had been trying so hard to be the perfect wife and mother... I was on a mission of self-improvement to show myself, the world and God that I was good enough.  But, the truth was I was a overwhelmed mom of 5 young children, one who was still in diapers.  I was homeschooling 4 little people and any honest HS mom will tell you, that during the school year, it's either teach your kids OR have a clean house, but it's close to impossible to do both.  I couldn't keep up with laundry or dishes... so there was never going to be a day that was good for Katie to just drop in.  I'm so thankful that she pushed me out of my comfort zone that day.  What wasn't lost on me that day was her relief in being able to look behind the curtain and see who I really was.  She was happy to know that my laundry was piled up and my dishes were over-flowing and the most amazing thing is, from that day on she always came over to lend me a hand.

I learned a valuable lesson that day...  If I would be open and vulnerable and truthful about my weaknesses God would use that to help me where I was overwhelmed.

It's human nature to want to show your good side, to close the laundry room door, so no one is able to see the real us.  That's why Facebook and Instagram are so popular.  We take 55 selfies just to get perfect one, making sure our neck is stretched out and that crooked tooth is not showing too much, we choose the perfect filter and make sure the lighting is just right... all because we want people to see the good stuff.  We share our kid's achievements and our vacation pics, our date night selfies and nights out with friends.  We don't share that fight we just had with our spouse, or the money problems that plague us, we don't share that we just cried our eyes out in the bathroom, because we can't handle life.  We don't talk about the kid that's failing math or the one on drugs.  Of course I don't recommend sharing your most personal details with the world wide web...  but the thing is that a lot of times we treat our closest friends the same way.  We don't want people to see the mess that we really are.

But, I LOVE what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11:30 "If I must boast, I will boast about the things that show my weakness."

Paul had a lot of achievements to boast in, but when he met Jesus, He realized that all the stuff that he could boast in was worthless.

Paul said in Philippians, "But everything that was gain to me, I have considered as loss because of Christ.  More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the SURPASSING value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."

When Paul met Jesus and realized that no earthly achievement was able to save him, he considered it all worthless.  When He received the lavish GRACE of God, he was willing to let everything else he had hoped in fall away.  Only Jesus mattered.

I think about the mom wars...  you know working mom vs stay at home mom, breast feeding mom vs bottle feeding mom, granola mom vs twinky mom (I think I made that up), but you get the point.  When we boast about what we think we do well or the decisions we have made, we divide ourselves into groups.

You know that awkward moment when you met a totally adorable new mom at the park and you strike up a conversation, everything is going wonderfully, UNTIL you mention that you're a (fill in the blank) mom.  All of the sudden everything goes quiet and the conversation dies.  There seems to be no common ground...

But what happens when you have that honest moment with a friend and you share your struggle?  In that beautiful, vulnerable moment two souls, breath a sigh of relief and say, "Wow, I'm glad I saw that."

Think about sitting down talking basketball with Lebron James...  how would you feel leaving that conversation?  Talking to one of the "greats" would make me feel like a loser, who could never measure up.  But, imagine having a discussion about the struggles of parenting with him instead.  Imagine him sharing the struggles of balancing being a good dad and having to travel so much, imagine him saying he is burdened with guilt when he can't be there?  How would you feel then?  Empathetic? Compassionate? Connected?  Would you find some common ground when you saw his weakness and vulnerability and wouldn't that make you feel much closer to him, because he allowed you a glimpse behind the curtain of greatness to the real man inside.

"Therefore if I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." Apostle Paul.

It's still hard to open my door wide and let the world see the truth, but the freedom is worth it.  So, come on in, peek in my laundry room, check out my over-flowing sink and let's find some common ground.