Thursday, June 25, 2015

Why I Left My Acting Career

You may not know this about me, but I had a big acting career, and I just decided to quit one day.  Oh, I know what you're thinking...  You've never seen my name in lights or on the cover of a magazine.  No, I wasn't famous.  You may not have heard of me, but I'm sure you've seen some of the productions I've been in like; "Super Mom" and "Isn't She Perfect".   Oh, what you mean you've never seen that?! 

Well, whether you've seen me or not, I just thought I'd share with the world why I would leave acting.  It was a hard decision.  I mean I love acting.  I loved performing and being on stage, but it was so exhausting.  I couldn't seem to act and live a normal life, so one day I just decided to walk away from it all.

 I mean sure it was glamorous. Just what you would think, always having to have hair and makeup, clothes done.   I mean people want you to look your best, but it was so much pressure.  Sometimes you just want to be in gym shorts and a t-shirt, with your messy hair up in a bun.  I mean people it's too hard to look perfect all the time.  I just got tired of worrying about looks.  You can't act and not be concerned with looks, so I walked away. 

It was super hard though to hold it all together.  You know being a acting mom can really be hard on family life.  It's so hard to relax and just be with your family.  Always running around from this acting gig to the next.  Even vacations can be a production.  The paparazzi can show up anywhere...  We actresses always have to be on our game.   I felt like my family was paying a toll, because I always had to be photo ready.  My house had to be like a museum instead of a home.  It's hard to have little children and keep everything perfect.  So I gave up acting. 

Busy.  Oh yeah I was busy.  Running from here to there.  All those balls up in the air...  You have to juggle it all and never let 'em see you sweat.  It was so hard.  I don't know how other actresses do it and not have a break down.  That's one thing you might not know, all that pressure just made me crazy.  I had a breakdown.  Took some time off to recover, but when I  realized how awesome life could be without acting, I just quit. 

For real though...  I really was an actress.  I wanted my life to be perfect.  I wanted myself to be perfect, my home, my children, but it wasn't and the pressure I put on myself and everyone else to be perfect sucked all the joy and magic out of life.  It was a relief one day to find out that God never called me to be perfect.  I was playing a part that was not made for me.  I found comfort and relief in quitting acting and just resting in GRACE.  Grace is Unmerited FAVOR.  God had lavished me with his favor.  His GRACE for my weakness and imperfection was just what I needed.  Peace replaced performance.  His perfect love replaced my fear.  His joy replaced my agony. 

My life's verse has become "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses that the power of Christ may rest upon me."  2 Cor. 12:9

I will never measure up to my idea of perfection.  I will never be Super Woman...  I tried.  It was too hard, so I'm trusting that God really is ok with my weakness and that when I am weak, He is strong. 

I'm tired of acting like I'm good or like I have it all together, because I don't.  I'm tired of caring what people think and living according to the way other people I should live.  God is ok with me and so I decided to be ok with me too.  I hope you will join me in the "Leave Acting Revolution".   I hope you can join me in resting in His Grace. 

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