A time for everything...

"See, I have this day set you over the nations and over kingdoms, to root out, and to pull down, and to destroy, and to throw down, to build, and to plant." Jer 1:10

It seems that my life has been in disarray since the "holiday season".   Between decorating, gift buying and wrapping,and parties... Undecorating, putting the house back together, reorganizing, and trying to get back to school... then sickness.   I feel like my life is a total wreck...  Not just my house, but my little guys are having discipline issues, I haven't been alone with the hubs since I can't remember when, and my friendships have been put on the back burner...  I was feeling pretty sad for myself, and I emailed my HS group asking if anyone every had these times and if they felt as guilty as I do.  In response I heard several woman say that January has been the same for them. Whew.  Not the only one. 

I began to think about some of the things that this time is teaching me.  At the same time I read the verse above and it's been hanging in my mind for a couple days.  Jeremiah's job was to root out, pull down, destroy and throw down AND then to build and plant....  Yes there are definitely things that need to be rooted out of my life.  I see that now.  Hard times expose those ugly things in my heart that I'm able to hide when everything is going my way.  Paul says we must "lay down wrath, malice, anger..."  Yeah those things need to be pulled down in my life and discomfort exposes this.  Wrong motives that need to be thrown down.  Wrong thinking and blind spots that have to be exposed.  That's what this time has been about for me...  pulling down, rooting out... 

Praise God that He has two parts to this plan though...  A time for building and planting.  I just have to realize that the first part of the plan is equally as important as the second.   You can't plant a new garden until you have gotten rid of last years leftovers.  Digging and tilling come before planting and growing...  I'm thankful that there is a time of building and planting and even though this takes hard work to it just seems more productive.  There will be a time for healing, cleaning, learning, restoring friendships, and spending time with hubs...  And I will savor all that because God has been doing a little work in my heart.

 My ways are not his though...  He is preparing me for a place of perfection and I need to let him expose and destroy these things in my heart that won't fit in there.   Father, I pray that you would have the freedom to do whatever you desire to do in my life.  I know you are completing the work you started in me.  I know you are working everything for my good.  I know you are teaching me the things I need to know.  I am stubborn and stiff-necked person Lord and I thank you that you don't give up trying to teach me your ways...