Complaining

I guess the biggest thing that I struggle with is my tongue... Proverbs says death and life are in the power of the tongue and as I have become a wife and mother I have seen the truth of this statement. I probably wouldn't have the time or space here for all the lessons God has tried to teach me through interactions with my children. There are times though when this space helps me meditate on something He has shown me, like a diary of sorts.

Today in my devotional I read Philippians 2:14-15 "Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and HARMLESS, children of God without fault."
I am known as a person who says whats on my mind. In a past life this was considered a virtue. Now, it's really a curse in so many ways. One of my favorite passages about wives is I Peter 3:4 where it says that "a meek and quiet spirit is in the sight of God of great price." Proverbs has a lot to say about the tongue but on of my favorites that applies to motherhood is Prov 31:26 "...in her tongue is the LAW of kindness." I used to say well that's just who I am, (God forbid) I would even say this is the way He made me, BUT I have since come to see how much of what we learn in scripture has to be applied to our lives with a very healthy dose of Self-control.

It's funny because I think about how much I try to be Christlike to people I barely know or pass by on the street all the while I treat my family terribly. I would never treat stranger the way I treat my children. Although they can sometimes bring out the absolute worst in us it was not intended to be that way. We are supposed to exhibit the attributes of Christ to our family first and then our brothers and sisters in Christ. Why is it that I treat them the worst could it be that I have misunderstood the teachings of my Savior?! Have I misunderstood what Good Works He was talking about. Am I focused on the outside acts or on God changing me from the inside.

Back to the verse I read today... I complain about everything, I whine and complain and then I wonder why my kids do the same thing. I'm so thankful for the word picture that God gives me through my children. I may never get it if it weren't for seeing my children and then seeing myself the way God must see me. I love them so much and I try so hard to do what is best for them, but they don't want whats best and they complain.

I could go on for a while, but I won't I will just work on not complaining and disputing. I will work on having self-control and not making excuses for myself. I will work on not expecting perfection from others and mediocre from myself. I will work on "Rejoicing always" and being thankful in all things. I want to be blameless and harmless (to my family especially), and it may take a lifetime, but I am going to work on it everyday.