I'd Rather...

At my house we play a game called "Would you rather" and it goes something like this...
Everybody sits around the living room or riding in the car and we ask different people things like "Would you rather walk on burning coals or swim in ice water."  Then the person says what they would rather do and asks another person something like "would you rather eat a bowl full of worms or drink a glass of swamp water?"  Sometimes this game gets really gross and out of control, but it's a lot of fun, and the kids love to come up with crazier, yuckier, weirder questions...  Lately I've had a lot of people asking me a lot of questions about our plans for more children and it made me think of this game.

Tonight as I was rocking my "baby" to sleep all of the conversations of the past few days were swirling in my head and the I'd rathers came to my mind.  He's going to be 2 this week.  This will be the longest that we haven't had a baby since we started having them.  Naturally people want to know if we are finished because they know usually by now I would be pregnant.   The thing is we (Bobby and I) aren't controlling that.  We as a family have been praying for a while for a new baby and longing for the day when that happens for us.  We have decided that the Lord knows what we can handle and we're gonna trust Him about this.   I feel for my sisters who are in very tough positions and are making big sacrifices one way or another on this issue.  Some are deciding it's time to quit...  Believe me I understand.   Some REALLY don't think they can handle another child, but in the hidden places of their heart they long for another one.    Then their are woman who just don't want any more...  I don't know where you are on the spectrum, but this is where I am:

I would rather have 10 more than never have another baby to hold.
I would rather have a 1000 more sleepless nights walking the floors with a crying baby than to sleep another night in peace.
I would rather live in a tent filled completely full than to have an empty nest.
I would rather be nursing for the next 10years straight (that would make me 45 if you're wondering) than to never nurse again.
I would rather cry everyday, because raising children is such a difficult task, than to have an easy life.
I would rather have 10 more children, than have another vacation.
I would rather dress in rags, than be designer clothes if that meant I had could never have another baby.
I would rather have the volume at the highest decibel of screaming and laughter from a full and happy house, than have quiet and peace.
I would rather be having a baby every two years, than not have another one.
I would rather teach 10 more children; please and thank you, Jesus loves me, and how to read, than have time to discover who I am again... 
I would rather have 10 more just like Caleb, than to never have another.

I think you get my point.  I have "those days" all the time.  Earlier today Andrew cried for at least 2 hours and of course I started crying too.  It's not easy.  I was thinking about the baby stage and how hard it can be.  Then the ones when you're teaching them to walk and you have to follow them everywhere.  Then the two's when you lose your sweet angel and they become a tyrant. The 3's and 4's all the way up to the 20's there is something hard and challenging, but they are so worth it.  I would rather have 15 children than be done right now.   I'm praying that the Lord will send us an angel through adoption.  To me this life has nothing to offer without the blessing of new life...  Children are a blessing from the Lord and the only thing worth investing in!!!  Some days I don't "feel" that way, but I know that passes and that the Bible is true... Children are a blessing, a gift, and a reward.   So, NO I'm not done... Lord willing!!!

On my mind today...

It's been a while since I've posted anything.  I go through times like that.  Not that I don't have something to say (anyone who knows me knows I ALWAYS have something to say).   It's just been busy around here and I haven't felt inspired to share.  Most the time this blog is really just a journal for my random thoughts and today that is definitely the truth.  I have thoughts floating around in my head that I want to get out...  I guess for me it's therapeutic!  So here it goes...  the things that I'm thinking about today.

1.  I got up this morning and the first thing I always do is go to the fridge to get a glass of water.  When my mom passed away I put a collage of pictures up so I could see her face all the time.  This morning I looked at those pictures and I was filled with longing to see that smile in person, to feel her arms around me, to see that knowing look on her face.  There once was a time when I thought "Lord, let me live a good long life before you take me to heaven", but I don't think that anymore.  There are some faces there that I long to see... hers being the main one.   I miss her today. 

2.  For Christmas we bought our kids 2 puppies.  They are adorable, but they are a lot of work.  So, I began to pray for the Lord to deliver me from this extra burden.  I prayed for a good family that didn't have as much going on so the pups would get the attention they deserve.  Someone who NEEDED them.  One of the pups is very active and needed a lot of attention...  With 4 kids and homeschooling this wasn't gonna happen around here.  So, one day last week I posted them on Craigslist.  I got an email from a lady who loved Jack (the hyper ones) face and she wanted to come see him.  When she got here we talked and she was looking for a pup who wanted to love and cuddle and needed attention.  She wasn't working right now and she has a 9yr old son.  A perfect description of my prayer.  We were able to keep the other pup because he is more like a cat in that he wants to be left alone most the time.  He has the cutest face and a sweet personality.  He also has been training very well which has made it alot more peaceful for me.  I feel like a huge burden has been lifted.  I know it's a really small thing, and that there are a lot bigger prayer request than that.  I'm just thankful for a God who listens to our little and big prayers...  I'm thankful for a God who cares about a stressed out mom of 4 who doesn't have time to worry about another thing.  This morning Jack's new owner emailed me with an update and a picture.  He's doing great and he's a perfect fit for their family.  What a relief.

3.  We have gone to church in another town for years...  It was about a 30min drive.  Not that that matters if that's where God wants you to be, but a while ago God began to move in our hearts to get closer to home.  Join a local church and really get involved in our community.   When people in our neighborhood asked where we went to church when they found out it was 30min away that would be the end of the conversation.  We started to see that this was a big deal.  So, we prayed and God finally gave us clearance and direction.   It's funny to me that I personally have made a full circle.  God led us back to the church where I gave my life to Christ.  The church that I have always felt was home.  My husband had never gone there, but this is where I was "born and raised" in the faith.  The awesome thing is IT STILL FEELS LIKE HOME!!!  I'm excited about what God is doing here and what He is going to do in our community. 

4.  I read a book about 6 months ago called Large Family Logistics.  Written by a Home-schooling mom of 9, it is filled with good advice and practical tips to help your large family (or any family) run smoothly.  For a while I put the tips in practice and it worked and life was less stressful, but as humans do I started slipping until eventually things around here got out of control with no order, schedule, or routine.  Chaos ensued and I have been stressed.  Thanks be to God that he reminded me of those things that worked AFTER I called out to him.   So, I have gotten back to things like: getting up early, staying home, sticking to a schedule, cleaning up kitchen immediately after each meal...  One of the key things for me is having the kitchen cleaned at night so when I get up in the morning I don't already feel like I'm running behind.   There are a few other things that make a huge difference for me...  One is eating right, drinking water, and taking vitamins when I do these things I don't feel tired and overwhelmed.   Another thing is I have been praying for wisdom with discipline.  He began to show me that I am a reactor...  I am not a trainer.  So, I have to learn to TRAIN my children in the way they should go.  I cannot expect my children to make right decisions if they have never been trained to do that.   A very big part of training my children is being at home and concentrating on behavior.  The last thing that helps me so much is scheduling my life (which is not my strong point), but it's necessary for our success!!!

Well, thanks for stopping by to find out what is on my mind.  Let me know if you relate or have any good tips.  Hope you have a great day!!!

A Master Trade...

It's an easy thing to get overloaded... Busy is a way of life these days. After becoming a Mom I found it difficult to do all that I needed to do here and do all the outside stuff too. I felt like I needed to do this or that, but then I would neglect husband and children to do this other thing. Good things... It was always Good things, church stuff. The church needed me and I was burdened by guilt one way or another. This started me on a quest to find out WHAT does God's word say for me. I'm a Mommy with small children. What does the Lord require of me... It was amazing what I found.

I Timothy 2:15 "Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."

This verse is talking about the role of woman in the church. Well, let me just say that I have not seen this patterned in any church or area of life since becoming a Christ Follower so I was very surprised. There are many other good verses about a woman in my position and what our role is, but I like this one because it gives me permission to FOCUS on my family. In this world and even in the church we woman are always running around doing something, so to be told that the only thing God really expects for me to do is have children and raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is REFRESHING!!! I say that because I am not someone who can do it all or wear many hats. I need to know that it's OK to focus on one thing and do it to the best of my ability. I personally believe that if I'm taking good care of the home and family that my husband has the freedom to "Go tell" and share the Gospel with a lost and dying world.

I read a book recently that said if every member of the church would find out what God wants for them personally to do, and then do it, and then hold fast in that position that God's work would be much for affective. Instead we all want to do someone elses job. WHY??? We have to ask ourselves WHY??? I have found in my own life that it's because what God has asked me to do does not bring me much recognition or glory. I don't get praised for sleepless nights or changing dirty diapers. No one sees me doing the ordinary things I do each day. No one pats me on the back for doing 1000 dishes and 15 loads of clothes each week. So, when a chance comes for me to be seen I jump at it.

The thing is though that it's not about us it's about HIM. The thing is that if I'm doing something He did not ask me to do I'm not doing His will. The thing is that someone does see EVERYTHING I do and when I do His will for His glory with His joy as my strength HE SAYS WELL DONE GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT. The thing is I don't need to step out of my place to be seen because then I'm just trying to get the applause of man and IF I receive my reward on earth then I don't receive on in heaven...

So, I have to stay singleminded on the task he has placed before me. Day in and day out no matter how little anyone sees. God sees EVERYTHING!!!

As a result of this seeking I have learned that I can have a flourishing ministry that I share with my husband. Because I am focusing on my home I am able to open it anytime to anyone and do what God has called me to do and that is be hospitable. We have family night on Tuesdays with our extended family and tonight I received the most wonderful compliment... Someone said "I love it here I never want to leave." Lord thank you so much for helping me see that when I am in your will and doing only what you have asked me to do that I can be a Master of my trade. Thank you for using our home to ministry to others...

Laundry

Do you have a laundry day or do you do one or two loads a day? I know crazy ??? Why does it matter how you do your laundry? It won't help me get mine done. Which brings up another good point. Why am I on the computer asking random people how they do their laundry which is wasting my time!!! I guess so I don't have to think about my laundry.

Well, since you are interested, I have a laundry day. I "try" to get all of mine done in one day... Which NEVER happens. With a house full of littles it's never caught up. Besides someone is always using a towel or spilling something or changing for the 3rd time since breakfast. Anyway, part of the reason I have a laundry day is because I don't want to think about it for the rest of the week. I have one day each week where I wake up ready to tackle the small mountain of clothes that is waiting for me. Washing, drying, folding, putting up... It seems to go on forever that day or at least until about noon when I stop doing it and never get it finished. With small piles of folded clothes all over the place and baskets of still dirty clothes. OH, yeah don't even get me started about socks... WHY IN THE WORLD can I never find matches to socks??? Where do all the lonely socks go??? I've started a sock basket. I just folded 20 pairs of socks and it's summer time so we're not even wearing socks... that tells you just how long they have been sitting there.

What about this... IF you are like me and you have a laundry day then you work hard all that day to get the laundry done... washing, drying, folding, putting up... only to look around the rest of your house and it's a total nightmare. You haven't done one thing around the house because you've been washing, drying, folding, putting up. So, there are dishes all over the kitchen, food all over the floor, toys ALL OVER the house. You get my drift. Nothing gets done, except some of the laundry.

What about this... You work hard all day doing the laundry only to be asked by the hubs "where's that white shirt (his favorite shirt, that you have to wash every other day)?" OH YEAH that's part of the not been washed yet pile.... ALWAYS!!!

OR your daughter comes in to tell you that she has NOTHING to wear... You walk up to the closet becuase YOU KNOW you just washed all her clothes. What do you find in the closet??? A closet full of NEVER worn clothes that are SUPER CUTE. You say what about this or this or this or this only to find out that none of this will do BECAUSE she wants her favorite outfit that is still in the to be washed pile. I know the people in our neighborhood think well they don't need anymore kids they can't afford to get those poor kids any clothes. Not that we're rich, but if they could see all the clothes they don't wear...

Well, enough about my laundry drama... Tell me some of yours...

Couponing...

I'm sure everybody is doing it now?! If it's not you it's probably someone close to you. I just started a couple months ago... I'm not an extreme couponer, but I've gotten some good deals for sure. It's been a rush to get some stuff for free. It's been like a puzzle (which is enjoyable to me) to match up coupons with the deals that are in the paper. I love getting more for my money. After watching prices for a couple of months I know what IS a good price or sale and what IS NOT. We are not running out of everything like we were before.

Some of the things I've gotten for free are: baby wipes, toothpaste, toothbrushes, bbq sauce, deodorant, body wash, contact solution, marinades.

Things that I've gotten for 30 cents and less are: Condiments (mustard, mayo, salad dressing...), pasta sides, brownies and cake mixes, taco season, pasta, more toothpaste, soap, body wash, deodorant, dish soap.

Things that have been 2-3 dollar cheaper because of coupons: dish soap, detergents, diapers, wipes, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, boxed meals, cereals, eggs, lunch meat, frozen pizzas, sliced, shredded, stick cheese...

These are just a few of the things that we've been able to save money on. We buy 8 papers each week... that costs us $20. I know what you're thinking... We can't be saving that much money, but I have found each week that just one coupon from each paper has paid for the paper. This week for example Kroger was having a really great sale. If you buy 10 of a certain item you get $5 off. It was mix/match so you don't have to buy 10 of the same item.

Dish soap regular price $2.49 on sale 2.19 with 10/5 sale it was 1.69... I had a coupon for .25 that tripled... final price .94. That's a total savings of $1.55 each.

$1.55 X 6= $9.30. I bought 6 at the best possible price and saved 9.30.

I know that's a lot of math just to say with coupons and matching them to great store sales we are getting alot more for our money. One week I was able to get 8 packages of wipes for $4.00 total. They were regularly priced $2.50x 8= 20. I saved $16 on that deal and even got 4 more for FREE!!!

Saving money has been awesome... Getting stuff for free has been a lot of fun. BUT, one benefit of using coupons has been that we have been able to give away excess. We couldn't use all the stuff we are getting for free or cheap. So, we have been able to share with others. This has been such a huge blessing for me. Sometimes it's people that come over who need something, other times we as a family have taken food and other stuff to the food bank. I have also been able to share with family members who are struggling financially. You should see their face when you come in with bags full of goodies. We also have a lot of people in and out of the house all the time. So we have had a fully stocked pantry, freezer, and refrigerator to throw something together and people don't have to feel like they are being a burden. We have get togethers and parties all the time that we can just whip up some 10 cent brownies for desert and it doesn't cost as much as it use to to have people over.

Really that's what it's all about. Hospitality and Giving to others. Coupons are helping our family fulfill those commands!!!

My New Motto...

My new motto is "we make it work"... I've had a few people ask me lately how do you do it... It being home-school two kiddos with a toddler and a new baby? How do the kids learn what they need to, how do the dishes and the laundry get done, how do the baby and the two year old get the attention they need? Well, the truth is I really don't know! I am amazed at the end of the day how we got it done and how my kids actually did learn something... But, WE MAKE IT WORK...

When we're having bible time and the babies crying... we make it work.
When we're doing phonics and toddles screaming... we make it work.
When I'm trying not to cry and someone makes me laugh... we make it work.
When I think we've accomplished nothing that day and they shock me with something they learned... we made it work...

It's not easy, but nothing worthwhile is. I love all of it. I love teaching my children. I am so proud of them and myself at the end of the day. I think of those two little ones and how much they will learn by sitting around the table with big bro and sis. I know it's all worth it and I'm happy because "We make it work". I'm thankful for all these lessons in patience!!!

Update...

No, I'm not dead... Although sometimes I feel like the walking dead!!! HAHA !!!

Well, we are doing really good. The baby came right on time. He is beautiful. Everybody has adjusted very well to having a new baby in the house which always makes mom feel good. My two year old love his new little brother and thinks that he should be able to hold him all day and kiss him!!! We have had the occasional discipline problem, but that's to be expected.

We are off for the summer, but I think we will still do school a few days a week so that we don't forget anything!!! I love Home-school. There is so much freedom!!!

I am anxious to get into some kind of routine again, but that will come I guess. I'm just a creature of habit so I find comfort in doing the same things at the same time everyday. Not to mention being able to get out and grocery shop for myself. But, I also need to sit back and enjoy these weeks at home because I will never have them again with this little guy. Time goes by so quickly...

For whoever said that too many kids plays havoc on a marriage, I would like to say they are wrong. By God's grace we are closer than we have ever been. He has been so helpful and attentive after this our fourth child has come. I am so thankful for my husband!!!

Well, that's all I have time for for now... I hope to be back soon!!!

Abundant...

Well, the weather is beautiful here in Texas. Everyone in my family is well and now life is back to our normal. I haven't had much time to write, because life is so full right now. I am so thankful to say though that we are abounding with blessings. I am so thankful to God for HIS word. I feel more peace in EVERYTHING than I have ever felt before and I can only attribute that to walking closer with Christ. I can't say that circumstances have changed dramatically, but I can say that God has answered some important prayers for me so I know that He will answer the big ones as well.

I just wanted to take a moment to say how faithful my God has been to me. I am so thankful that He has drawn me near to His side. I am thankful that when we are IN CHRIST we can have hope, peace, joy, patience, self-control, goodness, meekness... LOVE for our family is just an overflow when we are abiding IN CHRIST... To God be the glory!!!

Found what I was looking for...

The kids and I just got back from Great Wolfe Lodge. We went with my aunt and my best friend and her daughter. It was a lot of fun for a couple of days. I was running on fumes before we left. It had been a very stressful few weeks at home and I was feeling very discouraged. I just wanted to get away. That is just what we did. We got away from it all and were able to play. BUT, as the days passed I began to long for HOME.

We ended up leaving a day early because of sickness. As we were walking out I saw a sign that said "A man can search the World for what he needs, only to find it when he returns HOME." I thought that was so very appropriate for how I was feeling. I wanted to get away from home so bad, but it only took a few days to begin longing for home... Maybe sometimes we have to be away to see how good Home really is.

Over-whelmed and Under-motivatied...

I don't remember if I feel this way every year after the holidays or if it's especially strong this year... Being pregnant with 3 little ones and enduring the non-stop of the holidays was tiring. I took a few days off just to lay around in my pajamas, but I don't seem to much better for it. It's time to get back in the swing of things and I feel no motivation.

It's time to start home-schooling again. I think I'm already experiencing spring fever. I used to love winter, but now with children it's definitely hard not being able to go outside. The weather has been pretty cold here in Texas. Much more than in previous years. It is so beautiful from the window. I just long for those 70 degree days again.

I know this post probably sounds like a downer, but as I look around at all the things I NEED to do I'm feeling overwhelmed and under motivated. It's not a good combination. Maybe I need some coffee?!?!?!

Happy at Home

It's 5:50pm and I have just finished mopping my kitchen floor. Dinner is in the oven as we speak. My children are playing together having a grand time. We have had an hour of exercise, walking around our neighborhood pond with another HS family (you know socializing). School went great today. My daughter is reading above her grade level. She is responding well to having Mom as teacher. I am blessed to be at home with all my children around me daily. I am blessed to pass on my faith to my children on a moment by moment basis. Just as scripture tells us to "tell our kids when we rise, when we walk by the way, and when we lay down to sleep." Truly I am happy at home, in a way that the world tells me I can not possibly be. God is Good and we are blessed.



I had to take a break from the post for a minute. It's 6:30 and they had a bath because the grandparents are coming for dinner on a school night!!! My house is fairly clean. Yes I have 3 children 5 and under. I would love to take credit for lots of wonderful things that are happening in our home and family, but I can't it is all God. His word teaching us, his Spirit leading us into a wonderful way of life. Home-school has been such a blessing in sooooo many ways and I am thankful to have this opportunity. It amazes me when I talk to others about how hectic their lives are and how little time they have away from school and home work. I am blessed every time I talk to a mom that has to work and how "unfulfilled" they seem to be. I am glad that God never allowed us to get into a situation where we had to figure out how to make it work for me to stay home. Alas, I am happy at home.

Update...

Well, I haven't been blogging in a while so there have been some changes in my life. Life is full and we are happy and healthy. Everyone is growing and changing.



My "baby" is now 16mos. old and doing the toddler thing. It's funny I never get tired of watching a little one learn about the world. It is so fascinating. He is nothing like the other two. He is fearless, outgoing, and FUNNY. I love watching all my children with each other... I guess it is a good thing that he is growing up, because we are expecting blessing #4 in May. We have 1 girl and 2 boys, so big sis is hoping for lil sis... It would be wonderful to have another little girl, but we will be happy with another rough-houser too.



My oldest is 5 and she started school this year. We decided through much prayer that home-school would be best for our family and it has been AWESOME. This I will have to document elsewhere, but I will say here that I love having her home with me. This is what I envisioned life should be like...



My middle is about to turn 4 and all of the sudden he has developed a real passion for football. That's all he thinks about. He tackles everybody, but mostly his little helpless brother. It's amazing how much they have all changed in a year. I love watching them all develop their own personalities, likes, and dislikes.



Well, that's enough for now I guess. I'm thankful for Family, love, and life... God is Good, Faithful, and True...

Thankful...

I'm so thankful to be home. I'm thankful for a husband who sees my purpose in being at home. Sometimes I take it for granted, but this last week has brought this thought to the forefront of my mind. There are reasons too numerous to count, but the one at the top of my list this week is being at home with sick kids... My youngest son who is one came down with a BAD case of Strep... Now I'm not saying that I love being at home with sick kids. It's actually about the worst thing ever, BUT when my children are sick all they want is Mommy. I can't imagine not being there to take care of them, to hold them, to soothe away the tears. Since this is my profession I don't have to worry about how long I'm home from work or losing income... All I have to do is take care of my children just the way I can remember wishing my working Mom could take care of me when I was sick... This hard week also makes me so much more thankful for the weeks that go by without trouble... I love being at home with my children. I love my husband and I love being there to support him. I love not missing anything about my kids growing up. I love watching them learn new things. I love being home everyday and I'm so thankful.