Queen of Quitting

 I have been known to quit a few things in my life.  I quit dieting, I quit exercising, I quit blogging, I just quit, especially anything remotely good for me.  

This morning as I was thinking about starting all the good things again, I had this thought... WHY?  and the very next thought I had is you are "the queen of quitting". Immediately all the other reasons I shouldn't start over today came flooding back in.  The negative self-talk that has become my Identity started telling me who "I am" again and why I don't deserve to start again.  

Since I'm working on changing my mindset and shutting down the negative soundtrack that I have in my head all day, I plugged my headphones in, turned on my favorite "mindset" podcast and started cleaning my kitchen.  I'm learning that taking some kind of action helps quiet the worst voices in my head and I know that a clean kitchen always makes me happy, especially when someone else does it... wah wah. 

Wouldn't you know today's topic was all about IDENTITY.  Personality, who we think we are.  Identity or the story we have told ourselves about who we are is the determining factor of the things we do.  The things we do then become the person we think ourselves to be.  AND the loop goes on and on and on for years until we start to believe that we will always be that person.  I know you've heard people say "well, that's just the way I am" and what they mean by that is they can never change.  So, like me when I called myself the "queen of quitting" I believe myself to be someone who always gives up... so why even start again.

As the hosts were discussing this idea of identity this quote hit me and honestly gave me so much hope for myself and maybe even a little forgiveness for the person I have been, and I pray that it has the same effect on anyone reading this post.  

"YOU are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."  Alan Watts

That is such a powerful statement....  It doesn't matter what you did yesterday, because it's gone.  It doesn't matter what runs in your family, or what behaviors you have done in the past to give you the identity you have today.  

Because the sun came up today, we know we can have God's mercy for all the days before.  Because you have air in your lungs today you have been given a new opportunity to become the person YOU know in your heart you can be.  Because God said old things have passed away you know today can be a fresh start for you.  

What we do becomes the identity that we tell ourselves that we are.  The amazing thing about that is we can change what we DO and become the person that we desire to be.  We can literally change the story that we tell ourselves about who we are.  

I have a lot of old stories on feedback loop that continue to sabotage the person I want to be, but I CAN flip the script.

Another really important aspect of this is remembering your WHY...  So, for me, I want to get healthy.  WHY???  Because I want to be able to enjoy my future grandchildren.  I want to be able to play with them and have abundant energy.  I want to enjoy my life and not miss out on things because of poor health.  My WHY is health for the future so my choices today MATTER.  In the moment I may be in my feelings and want to eat total trash... but, I need to remember my WHY.  When I start to make healthier choices, my mind begins to "identify" me as a healthy person.  Healthy becomes my identity.  When health is my identity, I will naturally make choices that confirm that identity.

Another example of this for me is... I LOVE this blog.  I feel very passionate about sharing things that God is showing me and I LOVE sharing those things with people who might need to hear what God showed me that day.  Maybe someone out there will be helped in that moment.  Maybe they will be reminded of God's unconditional love for them.  Or maybe someone out there also suffers from some of the same things I do and maybe they will feel a little less alone. 

Even though I LOVE this blog... I also HATE it.  I hate the way it makes me feel about myself sometimes, so I have quit blogging a thousand times.  I started a long time ago with this thought in my mind "I am not a writer" but I do love to share.  So, with that identity firmly placed in my mind that I am a counterfeit writer I have started and stopped so many times.  I criticize myself and imagine there are phantom critics out there who also think "wow she sucks at this" and then I quit again.  

When those thoughts come in and that fear of failure or rejection comes in it's vital to remember "my why".  I'm not doing this to for approval, I'm not doing it for likes, I AM doing this because I want to share God's faithfulness with someone who could use a reminder today.

The stories we tell ourselves matter and they are creating the life that we are living right now...  The good news is you can change the story and you can change your life.  You can become the person you know you want to be.  You can start right this moment...  "WE are under no obligation to be the person we were 5 minutes ago."  Today, I decide to change my identity from the "Queen of Quitting" to "Queen of creating the life I want".

Most important of all is who we are and who's we are... 

We are blessed. We are chosen.  We are adopted. We are accepted. We are redeemed. We are forgiven. We are LOVED by a GREAT GOD, who sent His own son to give his life for us.  Ephesians 1 tells who we are IN CHRIST and because of that we have every reason to LIVE like we are the people God says we are and in the LOVE that he has lavished on us!!!