Wednesday, January 3, 2018

When I put me first.

Today, like most other Americans, who have made New Year's resolutions, I started my day with a healthy breakfast and restarted my work-out routine.  I have gained 10 pounds since Thanksgiving and even though I have been busy, I haven't been active.  My diet has been a disaster and honestly, I have been feeling like crap.

I have no energy, no motivation, no desire to do ANYTHING.  You can imagine with me then what my house looks like with five kids.  When my house is a wreck I become the ranting, nagging, crazy woman no one wants to live with.  I feel overwhelmed, under appreciated and frustrated.

Worse still is the way I feel about myself.  I feel fat.  I feel ugly.  I feel old and wrinkly.  I don't feel attractive, so I don't act very attractively to my husband, which in turn negatively affects our relationship.

It's amazing the way you feel about yourself affects the way you view the world around you.  How quickly blessings turn to burdens, when you're tired, grumpy and feeling frumpy.

But, this morning I feel good.  I didn't use the excuse of crappy sleep (which I have had for weeks, because my two youngest sons have been up every night), like I did yesterday.  I got up and put my running shoes on(not that they have ever been used for running), because I knew they would motivate me to get up and do something.  I ate a healthy breakfast, instead of drinking coffee until 2pm, took my vitamins and started drinking water.  Even though I really didn't want to and I didn't really have the energy to do a workout, I turned a video on anyway, and let the cute, cheerful, fit instructor lend me the courage to start all over again.  I'm not gonna lie... I didn't make it all the way through the 30min video this time, BUT I did do some yoga after and that was AMAZING, heard my vertebrae pop back into their proper place and worked out that crick I've had in my neck for 2 months. Surprisingly,  I was still feeling pretty good after that and TBH, my kids were getting on my nerves, so I took a 2 mile walk. WOW... I forgot about fresh air and sunshine.  

After making myself a smoothie, I jumped in the shower, AND shaved my legs...  cuz, well I was feeling pretty darn good about myself.  Already I could imagine that my abs, hidden under years of flab, were trying to make an appearance and is it me or does my skin simply glow now?!?!?!  Could be ALL in my head, but I'll take it.  I even decided a little make-up might make me feel human again, so hair did, make-up on... Look out world you can't stop me now.

I might be starting all over again, but if I'm feeling this good on day 1...  can you even imagine me in a couple weeks.

I use to think it was selfish to take time out for me.  The bible does say we have to die to ourselves and put others before ourselves... so I took that quite literally.  I took care of my kids and really didn't do very much for me.  I hated exercise and I wanted to eat crap food, but that was just my preference...   I didn't do things like get away by myself, have time with friends (without kids) or even date nights with my husband.  I felt guilty when I was tired and needed rest and never said no.  I was also miserable, because all those things are important.  All of those areas of my life needed time and energy.

This was years ago and I have had to learn that neglecting me is not really what Jesus was talking about...  In fact Jesus says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and all your strength.  The second is this: 'Love your neighbor AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF." Mark 12:30-31

You have to love yourself to be able to love others well.  You need to take care of yourself to take care of others.  You need a full body, mind, soul, daily routine of self love to love anyone well.

Our Savior understood this...

"And in the morning, rising a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there he prayed.  And Simon and they that were with him followed him.  And when they found him, they said, 'All men seek for you."  Mark 1:35-38

Even though there were crowds of people looking for him, he took off to a solitary place and spent time with his Father.  This was his custom every day.  Another time we see him tell his disciples to cast off, away from the crowds and he falls asleep in the boat.  Other times we see him call his disciples up on the mountain to be alone with him.

Look at Mark 6:31"And he said unto them, 'Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest awhile."  For many people were coming and going, and they didn't even have time to eat."

Oh, sisters... that sounds like being a mom, doesn't it.

Jesus told his disciples to come away to remote place, so they could at least enjoy a meal with him.  We need the same thing.  First and foremost, we need alone time with Jesus.  We also need to take care of ourselves.  The science backs this up... we all know that healthy food gives our bodies what they need to thrive and everyday there is increasing evidence of the benefits of exercise... from relieving stress to feeling sexier and having glowing skin... what mom could not use ALL OF THAT and many more good things.

Our relationships need alone time as well, to reconnect and revive, whether that's time with our spouse or alone time with each of our children and time with friends or any other relationship that is important to us.

It's a New Year and another chance to give the best we've got.  It's that time of year that we start over and reevaluate what is important...  So, put yourself first today.  Take care of you.  Do good to yourself so that you can do good for others!

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