Filled up.

I'm not gonna lie...  eating right isn't my fave and exercise (well, it sucks).  I would rather be doing so many other things with my time, but I'm alllllmooost 40 and the pounds pile up quickly and do not like to go away easily anymore.  Those shells and cheese, I cooked for the kids tonight, were looking delectable, but I didn't even lick the spoon and that 25 minute workout I did today,  I'm sure is a walk in the park to other people, but my heart was beating out of my chest and my face was bright red and dripping with sweat.  I'm thrilled about the 3 pounds I've managed to lose in the last 3 weeks, but I really just wish I could magically go back to pre-kid size and not have to do all this.  It was so cool when I could eat a snicker bar and drink a coke, without having to think about how it would affect me later, but it just doesn't work that way anymore.  I have to make a change.

A couple weeks ago a friend talked to me about the micro diet... I plugged my info into a calculator and a site gave me personalized numbers to keep track of.  The theory is that as long as your eat your micros (fat, protein, carbs) in the right amount then you should start losing weight.  I thought what the heck, why not give it a shot.  So, I opened up the Myfitnesspal app and started keeping track of my numbers everyday.  My calories are down, but the weirdest thing is I hardly feel hungry.  I thought I would starve to death and always be hungry.  I thought it was going to be so hard to resist junk, but the opposite is true, I don't have any cravings.  WHAT??????

Even at the Thanksgiving feast and the following days of leftovers I really didn't crave anything.  I had dessert that day, but it wasn't a must and the next few days when the pies and cakes lingered around I really had no urge to eat them.  What gives???

Tonight when I was making dinner I realized that I wasn't really even hungry.  I actually felt satisfied.  I didn't feel like I was missing out on shells and cheese or even my favorite mashed potatoes.  Those beans and quinoa that I had made for myself actually made me happy.  I'm not thinking about ice cream and cookies.  I'm not dreaming about Snickers or Heath bars.  I feel full and satisfied. 

I'm no scientist, but I have read that the brain tells us when we are hungry.  The brain really doesn't care what we feed it and often times the brain wants nothing more than to be satisfied with junk.  The problem is that there is no nutrition in the junk that our brain tells us to eat and so after a while our body cries out for more and the brain sends out another craving message, because we need protein, fat and carbs in the right amounts to keep our bodies running at the optimum level, we will continue to get this message for more.  What is going on in my body right now is affecting my brain.  My body is receiving what it needs to function and my brain is sending out a different message.  My brain is telling me that I don't need anything else, because I'm full.  I've also read that good, healthy food actually has chemicals that tell our brains when we are full and when we have had enough...  I'm not sure about you, but Lays potato chips  have NEVER told me when I was full.  Can't eat just one, right?! 

Junk is NEVER enough.  Junk never makes me feel satisfied.  I always want more. 

Well, tonight when I was standing at the stove that feeling of being full, got me to thinking, I haven't felt that empty feeling lately that drives me to shop or eat or run away or anything that makes me feel better.  I have been feeling pretty content lately.  I haven't had that nagging sense that I just need something or someone to make me happy.  What gives? 

Psalms 34:8 says, "O, taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusts in him."

To be painfully honest I would rather do a lot of other things than get up in the morning and pray and read my Bible.  I could sleep or scroll facebook.  I could read a new book or just sit and do nothing.  I have to force myself to get my Bible out and I have to force myself to pray...  because like eating right and exercising... these things are not what I want to be doing.   For the last few weeks I have gotten up and grabbed my coffee and my Bible and found a quiet place to talk to God.  At first it's not what I feel like doing and I have to force myself to find things to praise Him for.  Not that there aren't a million things that I could praise Him for, but I am selfish and self-centered and it all starts with getting over myself.  Before too long as the praises come one after another I start to feel thankful, content, blessed...  I start to see how amazing my Father is and then humbled to be chosen to be His child.  The tears flow and my heart finds it's home again.  When I open the Bible after this time of praise I hear him talking specifically to me.   My brain is no longer running the show driving me to so many other things.   I find myself feeling full, satisfied.   The next morning I have to do this again.  I force myself to taste and see and I leave feeling too full for the junk I would normally veg on. 

Jesus called himself many things while he was on earth.  Isn't it interesting that he called himself the bread of life and said that those who come to him shall never hunger again.  He also called himself the living water and said that those who come to him would never thirst again. 

Jesus said "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness: FOR THEY WILL BE FILLED." Matt 5:6

Filling up on Jesus leaves us satisfied, with no room for all that other crap we craved before.  When Jesus was teaching one day and there were a multitude of people (over 5000) and he knew the people were getting hungry He asked the disciples what they had to feed the people.  "They came back with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish and said what is this with so many.  Jesus took the 5 loaves and 2 fish, and looking up to heaven, he blessed them, and brake, and gave to the disciples to set before the multitude.   And they did eat, and WERE ALL FILLED: and there was taken up of the fragments that remained to them 12 baskets." Luke 9:16-17

When Jesus fed the people they had more left over than they started with.  When Jesus fed the people they were satisfied and full and had some left over.  When Jesus fills us up we will be joyFILLED, satisfied and content.  When Jesus fills us up we no longer have those craving for the junk that only leaves us longing for more.  Taste and see that the Lord is good.