Hell hath no fury like a toddler who doesn't get his way.
It all started when I decided that my sleeping two year old did not need to continue nursing... The plan was dislodge and snuggle beside him, I was feeling tired too, because I had been up all night with another child. My plan and toddler's plan were not the same. He woke up and started screaming and kicking me in the stomach. I just let that happen for a minute hoping that he would quickly go back to sleep. Yes, I did let my child kick me. No, I do not think I should be giving parenting advice. Back to the story, he did not go quickly back to sleep and I had to revise my plan. I climbed on the other side of the bed and let him continue his fit. I was tired. I did want to be with him. I wanted to feel his little body, cuddled up to mine and smell the scent of his little baby head. I wanted to nap beside him, but with him thrashing and screaming that was not going to happen. So, I laid on the other side of the bed, until little toddler calmed down and realized things were not going to be his way. A moment later he turned to me and said "Mommy, will you come over here with me." Of COURSE I WILL... that was my plan.
As usual this little episode was a real life example of something I have been wrestling lately. James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you..." Daily there are things in my life that I wish were different. Sometimes, I get angry, when I figure out these things aren't going to change . I throw fits, I scream... yes at God. I pull away and God allows me to do that.
He has a plan, that he knows is best for me. He knows what I need to mature and those things are hard and difficult for me to understand. I don't want to grow and mature. I want to stay childish and have my own way, but God wants me to be changed. He wants me to move from baby to adult, one small step at a time and I kick and scream the whole way.
I am so much like my little guy who says, "I'm the baby, I want my diapers.", when learning to use the big boy potty seems to be too scary.
I'm the 6th grader who pouts and screams, "I can't do this.", when there is a new math concept I have to learn.
I'm the 5 year old that doesn't want to learn to ride my bike, because I might fall down.
You get it. The unknown is scary to me and I get mad when God makes me do something that's too hard. God knows that when I have mastered something it's time to move on to something new and more difficult. He doesn't want my growth to be stunted. He doesn't want me to stay in toddler land.
When I stop pouting and start thinking, suddenly things seem clear. He is not trying to hurt me. He hasn't gone far away. He just moved a little so I wouldn't be able to kick him and scream in his face. He's right there behind me, waiting for me to say, "Can you come over here with me." Just like that He's there beside me, holding me, ready to continue with his plan...
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you...
That takes realizing that His way is better than yours. That takes realizing that He knows more than you do. That takes humbling yourself. Verse 6 says "God resists the proud, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."
Our God is the God of grace. The God of all comfort (2 Cor 1:3) He is right there with us, IF we draw near.
I wanted to comfort my toddler, just not in the same way he wanted to be comforted. I wanted to hold him close. God wants to comfort us. He wants to be there beside us. Will you draw near him today? Or will you demand your own way and end up pushing God to the other side of the bed? He is there waiting for you, so he can continue with his plan.