She came up beside me at the computer and stood there. I could feel her presence, but I hadn't acknowledged her yet. She said "Yeah, mom the concert was good." I distractedly said, "Oh, that's great honey." Then it dawned on me... I hadn't asked how the concert was. How sad that not only did I not ask her how it was, but when she came to tell me about it I didn't even listen to what she was saying. The sad reality is these interactions happen way too often and I'm not alone. Other moms I know tell me they are socially distracted too. Whether we are texting, FBing, twitting (?) lol., or blogging we are VERY distracted mothers and our children are paying the price.
How often do my children hear "Hold on, let me finish this.", and what is the message... that this text is more important than what they are wanting to say. It's really sad.
Don't get me wrong I'm not going to give up all my social media distractions, but what should we do to convey the message that the people present in our lives are more important than anything? How can we change this? I know I'm going to text, FB, and blog, but something has to change so my children KNOW that I am here physically, emotionally and mentally HERE for them.
One thing can do is limit when I use my phone and computer. Can I set aside a time to use my devices without ignoring the important people in my life. If you are like me there are many times when I'm scrolling on my phone, I'm not even paying attention to what I'm seeing. I know that I can cut down on when I'm on the phone or computer. I know it's not going to kill me to put my phone somewhere out of the way so I can't just grab it every 5 minutes. I know I can retrain my brain to do something else when I'm bored, like engage in conversation with my "real" people.
Another thing I can change is IF I'm on the phone or computer and I get interrupted, I can stop what I'm doing and turn to them and engage. Then when I'm done go back to that text I was trying to send. If I don't they are going to keep talking and I'm going to get frustrated and short with them... again WHAT IS THE MESSAGE? It's not the message I want to send them, but it is the message. My new motto is STOP, DROP, and ROLL with the real life conversation in front of me.
I don't think there is anything wrong with social media, I happen to be a big fan, but I do think my habits are OUT OF CONTROL.
The people right here in front of me are the most important people in my world. I need them to know that, but if my actions do not line up with my words then I will be seen through their eyes as a liar. What I want them to KNOW is that Mom is your biggest fan and I love you and I'm interested in every little thing you have to say!!! Living present... I need to work on this.