Saturday, May 2, 2015

Leaky faucets and other nonsense...

The faucet over our kitchen sink is leaking.  So, what you say.  I will tell you WHAT...  I don't know when this particular frustration started, but it's been a while.  At first the faucet was a little loose and we would tighten it up.  A few days later it would be loose again and we would tighten again...  repeat.   This became a big source of frustration.  I know what you are thinking.  If this is the biggest problem I have then I'm pretty darn spoiled and you would be exactly right.  I tried to tell myself that and I even reminded myself on a regular basis about the story I heard of the little boy that walked six miles everyday to get water for his family.  It was no use though everytime I would walk up to the sink (and that is ALOT) there my problem was mocking me.

This little frustration began to take over my thoughts, until all I could think about was how amazing my life would be if I had a new, shiny kitchen faucet.  All my problems would be solved.  My life would be as it should be if I just had a new faucet. 

Well, guess what?!?!?  My amazing husband came home one day with a beautiful, new, shiny faucet.  I was so freaking excited!   My life would now be utterly perfect, because I would have a new kitchen faucet.  We took the old one out and installed the new one.  It was AMAZING...  for a few days and then guess what happened?  My new kitchen faucet that was going to solve all of my problems started getting loose.  Not only did it loosen up, but it started LEAKING TOO.  OH MY GOSH.  YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME IT'S BRAND NEW.   Leaking.  I didn't have that problem before.  UGH. 

As I stare at this new kitchen faucet in pure hatred for not solving my problems it begins to dawn on me that this really isn't my problem at all.  You know what I mean.  We all have some little or big something in our life that we think is our problem.  We think if this was different or if this person wasn't around, or if my butt was smaller, or if my kids behaved better or if my husband was more romantic...  then everything would be PERFECT.  Our lives would be complete and whole if our house was bigger or smaller.  If we lived in the country or if we had just the right friend.   Instead of enjoying the life we have been given and being thankful and content for all that we have we focus on that one thing that is just not right. 

The cleaners came yesterday...  Don't judge.  Anyway, I spent all afternoon after they left trying to keep my house from getting dirty again.  I have an unhealthy obsession with clean floors.  On Tuesday I swept and mopped the kitchen, but with 5 children it took 5 minutes to get dirty again.  So, from Tuesday to Friday I thought about how wonderful it was going to be after the cleaners cleaned my house and mopped my floors... once again putting all my happiness on this one thing.  They came, they cleaned.  It was wonderful for 5 minutes and then my son spilled his whole Sonic slush on the freshly mopped floors.  I was devastated (not really), but I was frustrated for sure.   Talking to my husband last night and telling him about all the messes I cleaned up he was like "what's new?"  He's right.  This is nothing new.  I have 5 children.  They make messes.  I've known this for at least  10 years, and I know I have completely unrealistic expectations and that's why I can't be happy. 

I have an AMAZING life.   I'm even embarrassed to type this blog because in all honesty I have NOTHING to complain about, but that's kind of the point.  I should be ashamed to act and think the way I do.  I should slap myself when I start to feel discontentment.   I SHOULD BE the happiest person on the planet.  I have everything I could ever want, but that is the point, STUFF doesn't make a person happy.  Nothing on this planet can make us HAPPY.  

I thought if I got married then I would be perpetually HAPPY.  I thought if I had children then I would be perpetually happy.  When those things didn't fill me up and meet all my needs I would always be looking for the next thing to make my life perfect, but that next thing never quite does it.  It's a let down. 

There's a problem.  The problem is that I was created to need and want and crave something.   We all are created to need.  We either don't know it or we forget.  I forget that my soul (the invisible part of me) longs for God and NOTHING on earth can satisfy that desperate need.  Unhappiness, sadness, discontent are all symptoms of looking to the wrong things to make us happy.

I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
Therefore my HEART IS GLAD, my glory rejoices: my flesh also rests in hope.
For you will not leave my soul in hell; neither will you suffer your Holy One to see corruption.
You will show me the path of life: IN YOUR PRESENCE IS THE FULLNESS OF JOY; at your right hand there are pleasures for evermore.    Psalms 16:8-11

In God we find fullness of joy.  He makes our hearts glad.  In Him we find all that we need to be complete.  It's amazing to me that peace and joy are a byproduct of spending time with God.   This should motivate me to spend time with HIM who alone satisfies my soul.

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