Monday, July 30, 2012

Fearfully and Wonderfully made...

It happened about a month ago...  I was sitting at a table with some friends talking about "stuff" when I started to cry about EVERYTHING.   In that moment I realized something was wrong.  Surely what I was talking to them about was not the real issue.  I couldn't be this upset about something so small...  It was also the first time that I had spoken the word "depression" in terms that weren't derogatory...  Depression was something that other people dealt with.  My answer to sadness had always been "Rejoice, in the Lord."  My belief had always been you can pull yourself out of this. 

When I went home that night I started looking up "stuff" and started talking to friends about things they had shared with me before.  I quickly realized that my issues were hormone related.   I've been studying alot and it seems hormones regulate everything in your body and they are VERY sensitive.  Looking back I can see how I have had "hormone issues" for a long time.  It wasn't until recently that they became more than a warning. 

I think it all started when my mom died.  I have 4 children and I'm homeschooling..  I don't really have time to be down.  So, I filled my schedule to the brim I guess I was hoping I could stay too busy to be sad.  Then as a result of being very busy I started eating poorly, stopped taking vitamins, and started living on caffeine.  BAD COMBINATION.  Seems that is a set-up for a host of hormone issues.  It wasn't long before this crazy pace became more than I could bear, by that time it was too late.  I had thrown myself into a tailspin...  I was plagued with aches and pains, depression, fatigue, anger, frustration, and HAIR LOSS.  The hair loss was more than I could bear.  OH, yeah I forgot to mention the ferocious PMS. 

The crazy thing is that so much of me was affected I can't believe I didn't see it before, but God knows what he is doing...  Looking back I can see that God is using this as an instrument of sanctification in my life.  I'm learning that sometimes if we are too stubborn to lean, he will find a way to help us.  Right now I'm trying to do what I can do to get a handle on this.  Trying to eat better, cut out the caffeine, take my vitamins...  Started taking a magnesium supplement.  That all seems to be helping. 

When the Bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made that doesn't just mean in the womb.  Our bodies are magnificent creations able to withstand many assaults.  The problem comes when we do not nourish our bodies and when we do not listen to them.  I was looking today and I found article that scientifically supports the Bible calling woman the weaker vessel.  The common theme in the world today is that woman can do anything men can do better...  As a result of our endless pursuit of perfection and trying to prove ourselves we wear our bodies down.  When we deny what the Bible tells us about being weaker, and we try to be all things to all men, we physically pay the price. 

I won't get on my soap box here, but Ladies we were not made to deal with the kind of stress that we are dealing with.  Women are suffering from so many syndromes right now, along with depression, infertility, adrenal fatigue...  the list could go on for miles.  If anything having my back flat on the bed for a few days has made me realize I don't have a choice anymore.  I must make my priorities just that priorities.  I must slow down.  I must rest more and listen to my body.  I must give up this idea that I can do all things or I will be headed down the path of degenerative disease. 

At the same time this has given me a new perspective...  God first (cause I can't take a breath without him), Husband second, children third...  IF I cannot do one thing more than that then I have to accept that.  I have to take care of momma or I won't be able to take care of them... 

I have so much more to say, but right now I have to go...  Hopefully you aren't suffering from any of this, but if you are I would love to hear from you.  I would love to know what you do to cope with your "issues". 

Thursday, July 12, 2012


This is just a short post...  I haven't been on in a while.  I was thinking about shutting down the blog completely, but in my heart I really don't want to do that.  I LOVE to blog my thoughts.  I am doing some changes to the blog...  The changes are a reflection of some changes I'm doing in my heart (or rather God is doing them.)  I have come to realize that my blog and FB interactions have not been to bring Glory to God and love my neighbor...  My motives have been selfish... To make a name for Angela instead of Jesus.   To PROVE my rightness and not share truth (in love). 

My heart's desire should be to share truth in love and to bring glory to my AMAZING Savior.  My motive has to be TO MAKE HIS NAME KNOWN  and to reveal HIS glory. 

Please be patient with me.  I am a work in progress and I fail all the time...  BUT, God is faithful, forgiving and his love redeems and restores.

I will be deleting some of my past posts.  It may take a while to clean this blog up, but I think in time God will once again be able to use it...

Thanks for your patience and support!!!