Today I was a ranting raving crazy Momma. By the middle of the day I thought I really better get out of here before I messed things up good. Of course I thought it was the kids, or the house, or homeschooling. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and thinking maybe I was the wrong person for the job. All I could see was a messy house, a crying baby, a screaming toddler and two big kids running around doing nothing productive!!!
The thing is that is the exact opposite of what I want for my life. I truly desire to be all that God wants me to be and I want to do it with a cheerful disposition. I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman. I'm striving to learn and grow and become. I feel like the caterpillar inside the cocoon. Wrestling, twisting, and turning. Wanting to go forward to the new, but feeling so comfortable with the old. When will I become that butterfly???
So, today as I'm "thinking" only negative thoughts about myself and my life I received an email that talked about the enemies mission against a child of God. IF you belong to God then satan has no power over your soul or your eternity, but He does have the power to come against you in other ways. His greatest weapon is discouragement. He whispers those little lies that say you will never make it. You will never become what God wants you to be. You're doing a terrible job so why don't you give up. For me personally the enemy tells me that if I didn't have all these kids or if I didn't home school I would be able to do more. I would have more time if I didn't have so much going on... He tells me I just don't have enough time to do it all... All these negative thoughts all day feeding on my resolve and courage to push on.
After reading the email about thoughts and the enemies attack I "thought" or better yet God whispered to my heart that has been the problem today... I have been believing the lies all day. So, now I need to change my thinking... I need to start thinking on things that are pure and true and right... if there be any virtue or praise think on these things. I need to start listening to the Voice of Truth... because HE says "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." I have to stop believing the lies...
That's not all though God began to show me that I have time for what I want to do. I have time to spend on facebook or email. My time is precious and there isn't a lot of it so I need to really prioritize it. I also need to be more organized and proactive with my time even if that means writing a schedule out and sticking to it throughout the day. BUT, I cannot believe the lie that I don't have enough time in the day. I have to start a task and finish it so that I'm not looking around at a bunch of half done things all day. I know that I will feel more productive and encouraged when I have folded AND put up the laundry or when I have washed/dried AND put up the dishes... BUT, it's TIME to stop feeding on lies. This is my life and I love it. I know that things in the future will be harder even still than where I am now so I must take this time to learn and grow for the future!!!
Lord please help me to see every opportunity to become what you want me to be. Help me to call upon your NAME when I am feeling troubled. Help me listen to you and not my enemy... Thank you Lord for all the work you have done in my life!!! I love you!!!