Well, I'm at 33 weeks. You know this is about the time you're ready for this to be OVER!!! I love pregnancy. I think for the most part it's a wonderful, beautiful experience. Right up until about now when I begin to think this just might go on forever and I wonder if my body will always feel like this. Thank the Lord this is not my first go round so I KNOW that all of this is passing!!! And forgotten two seconds after holding that sweet new life in my arms. The longing for this newest little person is intense. Especially after two of my close friends have recently given birth. I don't even want to hold their babies because I know it will be unbearable waiting for Andrew to come. They are so beautiful though.
I love every stage of life so far. I love my "big" kids and watching them learn and form their own personalities and minds. I love watching my almost 2 years old walk and talk and sing. I enjoy watching them take in the world for the first time. I love being a mother. BUT, there is something remarkable about holding that new little life in your arms for the first time. Something so rewarding about them being so totally dependent upon me for the first few months. Something amazing about being the most important thing in the world to that small little person. I have missed that. I can't wait for this new little person to come meet us all. I am so blessed to be able to bear life. To be a Mother is so intensely amazing. To be a Mother and to have such beautiful moments with my little people is more than I could ever have imagined. I am so thankful for God's grace. I am thankful to be a woman, to bear life in my flesh, to feed from my body, to nourish their spirits and souls. What a privilege, what an honor.
So, I wait patiently enjoying the time that I have before 3 turns to 4. Waiting in anticipation to see how this new life fits into this family. Waiting until that moment when I can't remember what life was like without Andrew. Blessed beyond measure. I wait with aching back and sore feet knowing that SOON it will not even be a memory because my long awaited treasure will be here in my arms...
Thank you Lord for allowing ME to be Jordan, Isaiah, Caleb, and Andrews mother. Thank you for allowing me to live this life. Thank you Lord for your unfailing love. Thank you that your mercy endures forever and I am proof!!! I love you!!!