Put to the test...

"Count it all joy when you fall into various temptations; Knowing this that the testing of your Faith works patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-4

Sometimes life is harder than I thought it would be. Since the day God stretched out his had to me in salvation He has been restoring the years that the locusts have eaten away. It has been a whirlwind of wonderful experiences with very little bad days or setbacks... I have to admit I have been spoiled by his wondrous goodness. I guess I just set myself up to think that the trials and tribulations that Jesus talked about didn't apply to me. I have to admit the last year has taken my faith by surprise. People I know would say that is one of my strong points. My faith is strong. I really believe the word and try to apply it everyday to my life. BUT, I know me. I know my struggles and fears. I know that my faith is strong only when my life is going according to my plans...

"Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you: but rejoice, inasmuch as you are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when His glory shall be revealed, you may be glad also with exceeding joy." I Pet 4:12-13

I guess it's easy to hear, see, and believe God when life is good and worry free. But, like Israel I wasn't closer to God because things were good. He was just a part of my life. So, I don't know if the this last year He has put my faith to the test because He wanted to prove me or because my heart was cold and calloused and it was time for brokenness?! I haven't responded the way I should. I basically went into a coma. I've been going through the motions. I have been hurt and disappointed and I guess I thought I would give God the silent treatment. On a much smaller scale I feel like Job must of felt. Little did we (Job and I) know all along when we were being righteous it was mostly outward. So, the last two weeks have brought me face to face with my desperate need for my Savior. I can't play games with Him anymore. I will never be able to out play him. I'm just so thankful that He is so patient. That his ways are not my ways. Because anyone else would have been done with me by now. I pray that this testing of my Faith will fan the flame upon the alter of my heart once again. It's been too long since there was a sacrifice there.

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes life puts your faith to the test. Is it real or is it a mask that you wear?

I hear sermons in church all the time about the sin of the Lost... We all know what "those sins are". But, very seldom are we as christians really confronted with the much worse apostasy of our hearts. Like Gomer the adulterous wife of Hosea I am coming back to my husband, my first love, the lover of my soul. And, I realize that the hedge that has been set around me was for my own good. I know for now that nothing will make me happy or satisfy me except a close relationship with Jesus...