At the River's Edge

Moses the Super hero of our faith is dead.  He walked up the mountain, still tall and virile and full of life at 120, but God had denied him the crossing of the Jordan into our promised land.  We have been waiting for 40 years to enter the land God had promised our forefathers.  And now I'm standing here looking at the banks of the overflowing Jordan, 2 million people behind me, looking to me for answers.  God has chosen me, Joshua, son of Nun to carry on where Moses left off.   Everyone is looking to me.  They know that God has spoken to me.  They know that God has chosen me...  what they don't know is...  I'm terrified.  How can I be responsible to lead these people?  Who am I?

I saw the waters part at the Red Sea.  I saw Moses set the staff in the water and I saw the waters separate.  Sure I was one of the spies that Moses sent into the promised land to check it out and yeah I stood up with Caleb against the other ten spies who said we couldn't take the land, but Moses was there.  I walked up the mountain with Moses.  I watched him disappear when God called him and I saw the mountain shake when God met with Moses in that secret place.  I've seen water flow from a rock.  I've gathered manna from heaven every morning for 40 years.  I've seen the presence of God dwell with us and lead us in the cloud during the day and the fire by night.  I KNOW God is with us.  He spoke to me.  It's me.... I'm not sure of.

Standing here on the edge of the Jordan river, during harvest season, with the banks overflowing, all I can think is this is bad time to cross.  In a couple months the river will calm down and we have a better chance of getting through.  Has God forgotten about all the new babies that have recently arrived and the mothers that have to carry them across?  Has he forgotten about the toddlers, who have trouble walking on level ground, much less through a river bed?  Has he forgotten all the little old ladies that need support, they can't do this!

I'm standing here at the edge of the water with this command to go across in 3 days plagueing me and I'm scared.  Surely God can't see what I can see.  Three times He told me "Be strong and courageous."  He knows me.  They may not know me.  They are willing to follow me, because Moses said God had chosen me to lead.  They look at me and they see a soldier, they see a man, but I feel like a coward.  I'm scared.   My faith will determine the faith of millions...  My trust will determine their trust.  The step they see me take, into these raging waters, will give them the courage to walk in as well.

I'm standing here looking at these waters and I'm not sure.  Will you be with me?  Will you keep your word to me?  Will you make a way when I can't see a way?  Will you walk before me?  Or will I be a fool?  Will I lose heart?  Will I believe the lies that the enemy is pouring into my soul right now?  I've got three days to decide who I will believe.  I have three days to decide if I will lead a nation to believe in an invisible God and trust him to part the waters for 2 million people as we walk through the river or if I will be the reason we stay right here.

Oh, Lord, Help me believe you Lord.  I'm so scared.  I want so badly to believe Lord, help my unbelief.  I know what I've already seen, but it's different this time.

The words rush into my soul, the Spirit of God speaks to my heart...

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name (Joshua, son of Nun);
YOU are MINE.
I will be with you,
when you pass through the waters,
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not overwhelm you.
You will not be scorched
when you walk through the fire,
and the flame will not burn you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
and YOUR SAVIOR."   Isaiah 43:1-3

I am Joshua, son of Nun, commander of the armies of Israel, standing at the banks of the river telling my heart to believe like Moses did, but I'm still afraid.