I remember the first time the Spirit of the Lord told me to be quiet. My firstborn was 3 years old and I knew that we were supposed to home-school. I had never been so sure that God had shown me something in my life. The problem was my husband did not agree, so I made it my mission in life to convince him that this is what we needed to do. I had 2 years to work on him. I quickly learned for the first time how incredibly stubborn my man could be. Nothing I said made an impact. It didn't take long for me to become frantic and cry out to God begging to know WHY he had shown me this, IF he wasn't going to show Bobby.
As usual the Lord had been waiting for me to come to the end of myself before he could tell me something and what He told me has changed my life. He said, "Be QUIET and let me handle this." So, that day I stopped giving him statistics, I stopped sharing horror stories, I stopped trying to convince him. I really wasn't sure that God could handle this on his own, but I was willing to give him a shot, because it was clear I was getting nowhere. I did know that she needed to know how to read before she went to kindergarten and with that in mind I made a preschool curriculum and we got started. One year turned into two and still my husband wasn't on board. I fretted, I worried, I prayed/begged, I cried... nothing. I thought how will he remember I want to HS if I don't remind him, and God said NO...be quiet. I thought, now Lord I don't see this working. He said "BE QUIET".
Finally, it was school time. It was the August before kindergarten and I went to my husband and said "Well, I guess we should go buy school clothes and supplies" to which he replied "WHY?"... well... I will not say what I was thinking, but you can imagine. Then his next words were like a punch in the gut, they took my breath away... He said, "We are going to home-school her this year." WHAT???????? I wanted to know when he had decided this. I wanted to know how he had decided this. I wanted to have a big long discussion about what a great decision we had made. I was just about to open my mouth and beg for the long story and once again the Lord said, "Be quiet". To this day I have no idea why he decided we would home-school, BUT the Lord had answered my prayer and he hadn't needed my help after all, well, that's not true, HE did need me to be quiet. I learned a lesson that I haven't forgotten.
I Peter 3:4 says speaking of wives "But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God precious to God."
I am anything, but, gentle and quiet. This was a hard verse for me to understand. When God asked me to be quiet did he mean silent. Did he mean be seen and not heard? No. My nature is big and loud. I have the loudest, most ridiculous laugh you have ever heard. I'm going to be talking non-stop to whomever will sit still for me to talk to. I think what this verse means is that we deal with our husbands gently and that we are quiet before them in spirit, meaning we trust God so much to do what He says he's going to do, that nothing our husbands say or do can make us afraid. We are fully persuaded that nothing is too hard for the Lord. We are fully persuaded that God will take care of us.
Yesterday, the honey and I were talking about our differences and how our thought processes are completely opposite. I am decisive. I know what I want or what I'm supposed to do and I just do it. I don't do cost analysis, I don't read consumer reports, I don't weigh all the options, I'm like Nike, I just do it. QUICKLY. I'm all emotion. The problem is that when things get hard I'm just as likely to jump ship. Home-school is hard. My husband on the other hand is logical. He is going to thoroughly think through every option and how it will affect every person in the family. He's going to compare prices. He is going to read reviews. When he has made his decision he will know exactly why he made that decision and his emotions did play any part in it. When things get hard he will not give up. He will persevere because He knows he made the right decision. He has saved me in free fall many times with his logic. He is my parachute. That's the way we compliment each other.
In Luke 1 we find the story of a young girl who was visited by the angel of the Lord and he said "Mary, you have been highly favored. You will have a son and he will be the savior of the world." (paraphrase). Well, that's a pretty cool salutation, but the problem is that Mary was betrothed to a man named Joseph. To be betrothed was to be legally bound to someone and in the Law if a woman committed adultery during the betrothel her punishment was public stoning. It's remarkable that there is no record of Mary running to Joseph and telling her what the angel of the Lord had said to her. You don't see her explaining herself. You don't see her say anything.
In Matthew 1 we see the story of a man who found out his espoused wife was pregnant and he knew it wasn't by him. He didn't want to make her a public example, so he was going to quietly divorce her, "but while he thought about what he should do, behold the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph... fear not to take Mary for your wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost."vs 18-20. God took care of Mary. She didn't have to figure out all the details. She didn't have to convince Joseph of anything. She was quiet. She KNEW there was NOTHING she could have said. She could not have defended herself. Only God could defend her in this situation and HE DID!!!
"Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife." vs 24. Imagine her surprise when he came for her in the middle of the night. Imagine her delight in seeing how God had worked everything out for her. Imagine her relief. When I was reading this it struck me how calm Mary was in this situation. She didn't allow herself to be overcome with emotion. She didn't allow herself to fear. She trusted God and that gave her the confidence she needed to "Be still and know."
Sometimes the word of a wife won't do... Sometimes only the Word of the Lord will do. Can you trust God to speak for you, to defend you, to plead your cause?
When God changes a heart he does it completely. His spirit is more persuasive than ours. His reasons pure and holy. He doesn't have ulterior motives. God can make two become ONE... whether he needs to change your heart or your man's. Trust God. Let him do the talking... when words won't do.