I'm sitting hear with a lap full of blessings (that's what the Bible calls them anyway), feeling really sorry for myself. Is this what my life amounts to? Whiny 4yr olds and fussy babies, laundry, dishes, school? I remember dreaming up my future life and it had all the players, but it was much more fun than this. I forgot to dream all the hard stuff. So, now I spend my days dreaming up bigger things. Surely there is something amazing out there I need to be doing. Something that would be more glamorous and fulfilling than this.
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto GOOD WORKS, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them." Eph 2:10
Doesn't that sound EXCITING??? God planned out GOOD WORKS for us to do before we were even born. Fill me in God what is it I'm supposed to be doing??? Preaching, teaching, going to Africa? What Big thing can I do for you? Surely you don't want me to waste my life on cleaning and cooking... I mean can that be serving God?
Then I read something like this. Paul is writing to Timothy about the treatment of widows in the church and this little verse jumps out at me...
"Well reported of for GOOD WORKS; if she has brought up children, if she has looked after strangers, if she has washed the saint's feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every GOOD WORK." I Tim 5:10
HOLD UP... There's nothing in there about Going to Africa to do big things. Some are called to GO and some are called to stay. I just happen to be in that group of stay here and be obedient to do what God has called me to do.
To be honest, there is an intense struggle in my soul between my will and God's will. Somewhere along the way I have lost the joy of motherhood and I want to jump ship and sail for another destination... Like Jonah. I love my children (most of the time) lol, but I NEVER dreamed this would be this hard. I feel like my life is being wasted away dealing with the mundane and I crave something BIGGER.
Could it be I've missed something though? Actually yes. I've bought into the lie that being a mother isn't really important and that anyone can do this GOOD WORK. I've let the enemy steal my GOOD WORK. I've missed that to God bringing up my children is a GOOD WORK. I've missed that I can do BIG things for God in a my space.
When I see that bringing up my children and welcoming people into my home and serving others IS a GOOD WORK I get excited again. This does matter. This is something BIG. I could spend the rest of my life trying to do big things for God every day OR I could be obedient in the the things that He has given me to do. God is PLEASED with OBEDIENCE... It is better to obey than to sacrifice. I Samuel 15:22
The other day I was reading the story of Cain and Abel to my 6 yr old for school... Cain brought the sacrifice that he wanted to bring to God, but it wasn't what God required. God did not accept his sacrifice and told him to do what was right and God would accept it. I think God is telling me that same thing. Do what I have called you to do. Do it with joy and gladness. Do it with all of your heart.
Col. 3:23-24 "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men. Knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ."
I have to keep in mind every minute of the day that I am right where God has me and that I am serving Him. I am serving the Lord right here. God has given me a ministry that flows out of being a mother and wife. He has called me to GOOD WORKS that flow out of my home. All of a sudden being a mother excites me again... Now I remember that every kiss and cuddle, every bend down and listen, every moment I spend serving my family is a moment of obedience to my God. I'm not missing out on bigger things I am right in the middle of them.