Not that... please not that.

The smell, the taste, the feeling...  I'm sure I can survive anything if I just have my coffee.   Cream and sugar please, two cups will do, then I can face this day.  Until about 10am when I need to recharge with a big TEXAS size glass of sweet(is there any other way) tea.   Then it's hit me again a couple times...  By 3pm I'm really craving a Diet Coke and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to function without it.  Dinner time you guessed it...  another big glass of sweet tea.   Caffeine I love you, but it seems like you're a little like the bad boys I was attracted to as a teenager, YOU'RE NOT GOOD FOR ME.

If you read my last post you know I've been having some hormone issues.  I'm still having them...  duh.  It seems they didn't happen over night so they won't go away over night either.   I've been reading everything I can possibly read about hormones and the human body, trying to self-medicate, but there seems to be a regular theme...  CAFFEINE IS BAD ON HORMONES and not only that exercise is good (they say).  This is the WORST news.

Did I know all that caffeine wasn't great for me, well yes, but upon closer inspection it seems to be downright bad for me.  I could give you a run down on why it's bad and how it affects your body, but I'd rather not waste my time.   What I'm really concerned about is how I'm going to break free from this addiction that I have.  Vicious Cycle would be a good way to look at it...  BUT, even with all this information I STILL WANT IT...   

Then there's the whole exercise thing...  I want to want to exercise but the truth is I DON'T.  I hate that.  I know I feel better when I do it. I know it reduces stress and helps my body function better, I know exercise helps me get rid of toxins and lose weight. I know exercise produces more energy.  Really there is nothing but good that exercise does for me...  I just hate to do it.   Surely sitting here typing on my computer is considered exercise?!?! 

So, they tell me I can naturally get this thing under control if I eat better, cut out my (bff/worst enemy) caffeine, exercise consistently, reduce my stress...  I guess I have to do this or else continue on the road to who knows where.  Inside I'm kicking and screaming Not that... please NOT THAT.  Don't take away my caffeine...  Don't make me exercise.  I'm sure after a while though I will forget about my dependence on the one and grow to love the other and get better at the same time.  I hope.